“The storm’s picking up, so if we don’t find her soon, we’re going to have to stop for the night.”

Colonel, though he knew it was true, tried to ignore River’s words. He pushed on through the snow without saying anything.

“Honestly, unless Aziminil hasn’t already found shelter, she’s either dead or almost dead,” Aniko said. River kicked her in the shins. “Ow! What was-” River kicked her again. Aniko snarled and swung at River, who ducked.

“Oooh!” Marigold gave a little jump of excitement, then rushed over to fighting pair, trying to copy them again.

“No! Guys, don’t fight!” Colonel moaned, then sank to the snowy ground yet again. Aniko and River immediately stopped fighting, gave each other looks that should have been full of guilt but really weren’t, and dropped to Colonel’s side.

“Come on, P! It’ll be fine. Seriously!” River patted him on the back.

“Yeah, she’s probably not dead!”

River punched Aniko’s shoulder again. Aniko punched hers. This continued for an embarrassing amount of time.

“STOP!” Colonel P. shouted, jumping up. “Just STOP!”

They stopped.

“Now, we have to think like Aziminil,” he said, “So, if you were Aziminil, where would you go?”

There was a brief moment of silence as everyone struggled to imagine themselves as Aziminil.

“Well?” Colonel said after several minutes had gone by.

“I honestly have no idea,” Aniko said, “Acting as Aziminil, I think I’m too dumb to do anything but wander in a circle or into a tree.”

“Great! Just GREAT!”

River cocked her head, “If I were her, I would wander around uselessly until I got distracted by a cave or something like that because I would probably think there were some arctic squirrels in there having a tea party or something else really dumb.”

Silence fell across the party.

Colonel Popcorn beamed, “That actually makes a lot of sense!”

Aniko scoffed, “Nah, I still think mine’s more realistic.”

“Yeah,” Marigold scoffed with her, “So’s mine!”

So, the party set off in a random direction (if you call eeney-meeney-miney-mo random) to try and find their lost friend.

It didn’t take too long. The group was very lucky to have accidentally picked the same path Aziminil went down, but you know how it goes. Maybe fate wanted them to meet up again. Maybe it was random luck. Or maybe there’s a mysterious god-like person who is typing up their adventures and deciding what they do. Who knows!

Anyway, the group eventually stumbled upon the exact cave Aziminil herself had recently discovered.

“Hello?” Colonel called into the cave, but only his shaky voice called back out at him.

“She might not be in here,” Aniko said, picking her fingernail distractedly, clearly not very interested in finding Aziminil.

Colonel moaned, “What if she isn’t in here? Where do we look now?”

“Hey, we might as well stay here.” River shrugged, “The storm’s really picking up and I’m not to keen on walking back through it. Honestly, we’d probably get more lost than Aziminil and we’d never find her.”

Colonel looked despairingly at River. “But we should still look for her in here. To make sure she isn’t trapped.”

“Or dead,” muttered Aniko.

Luckily, Colonel didn’t hear this. Instead, River assured him that they would look for her throughly, and the team walked into the darkness of the cave.

And the darkness was dark. The more they stumbled in the blackness, the more it seemed to fold in on them. No one could see anything, even though everyone in the party but River had night vision. River tried to light a lantern, but it wasn’t any help. Clearly, it was some kind of enchantment.

“Guys,” Aniko was the first to break the silence, “There just might be more to this darkness than meets the eye.”

“You think?” River snorted, almost tripping for what seemed like the 50th time.

“Uh, yeah I think!” Aniko whipped her head around in the impenetrable darkness to face what she thought was River but was actually the wall. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have said anything, now would I?”

“Well, it didn’t really help us, did it? The only thing you accomplished with stating the obvious was alerting any monsters that might be here to our position! Especially with all the noise you’re making now!”

“Well, that’s not my fault! You’re the one who really started this argument!” Aniko growled.

“Oh did I? I seem to recall you being the rude one and starting the argument by taking my comment as an insult! Honestly, I can’t blame you. People must taunt you so much that you can’t tell the difference between that and an opinion!” River snarled.

“ARRRGH!!!”

If it weren’t for Colonel Popcorn pushing them apart, there would have been more bruises than necessary.

“Why do you guys do this!? You’re normally such good friends! That is, until one of you starts an argument and than you’re worst enemies for the next five minutes before you become amazing friends again…” Colonel Popcorn struggled to keep the two– no, three, Marigold had decided to join– apart.

“Guys, can’t we just move on?!” You had to admire Colonel for his stamina. One guy can only take so much.

“NO! I REFUSE TO MOVE ON!” Aniko shouted, “Not with this little demon!”

“Really, Aniko?!” River cried, “I’m the demon? What with you being a tiefling with horns and spiked tails and all that devilish stuff!”

“Yeah, you demon!” Marigold giggled.

“Guuuuys!!!” Colonel Popcorn moaned, “Please! Stop!”

This time, no one did.

“Guys! Guys!! GUYS!!!”

No one reacted.

“I SAID. Cut. It. Out!”

Unfortunately, the situation was already far too out of hand. Maybe everyone was sorely sleep- deprived. Or they were under too much stress from Aziminil’s disappearance and having to wander through the dark in a probably monster-infested cave. Or they could all have simply needed a break from each other. Whatever the reason, no one would stop fighting when Colonel commanded them to, even though they almost always did. So Aniko, River, and Marigold continue to angrily wrestle with each other, stumbling left and right and ignoring the pleas of Colonel Popcorn.

If they had listened, maybe they wouldn’t have fallen.

Colonel suddenly heard a scream. It was a loud scream, maybe the sort of scream you’d get from three people falling down a deep chasm.

“Guys?” said Colonel.

Silence.

“River? Aniko? Marigold?”

Nothing.

Colonel started breathing harder. What should he do? Where had they gone? He felt the grip of another panic attack threatening to overwhelm him. Why were these things always happening to him?

He took a deep breath. He had to do something. He took a tentative step forward. His feet hit solid ground. He took another step. This time, there was nothing beneath his feet to support him, and he felt a rush of cold air flying past his face as he stumbled into nothing.

He tried to scream, but the air was rushing past his face too fast. He panicked. He couldn’t breathe.

When the ground finally caught him (as the ground always does), he wasn’t prepared for it.

“Ouch!” he yelped. He landed painfully on the cold ground, creating a small crater with the impact of his body. Wait, crater? This wasn’t solid ground! Colonel shivered and tried to not let his imagination take over. Instead, he kept his eyes shut tight.

“Guys?” he called. His voice echoed around him, seeming to taunt him.

“Colonel! There you are! Come over here and help us with this gold, will ya?”

Colonel’s eyes shot open. He gasped in wonder as he surveyed the sparkling scene before him. Piles of gold littered the floor, lit by artfully carved lanterns hanging from the walls. There was no surface that wasn’t covered with some sort of riches­. On the far side of the cavern, he could just make out a huge structure– a rune-covered circle held by two colossal stone hands. Just in front of him, River and Aniko were shoving treasure into their packs with a wild frenzy while Marigold lay on her back, making a crude snow angel in the gold.

“Aniko! River!” moaned Colonel Popcorn. “What are you doing? We need to find Aziminil!”

“Come on, Colonel! ” said Aniko, still shoving riches into her bag. ” We’re really low on funds at the moment! You were just talking about it.”

“She does have a point, Colonel. I know we need to hurry, but this may be our only chance at grabbing some money,” River went on.”Let’s all grab some riches real quick, then continue. I mean, no matter what happens, we’ll have money for the journey.”

“Yeah,” Aniko added, “Wouldn’t you rather die rich anyway?”

Colonel Popcorn sagged but grabbed some gold anyway. He knew there was no point in arguing with those two when money was involved.

While our party was trying to find Aziminil, she herself was having just as hard a time finding the arctic squirrels she was sure were somewhere close by. As she stared at the strange monolith in wonder, she heard a voice behind her.

“What are you doing here?!”

Aziminil whipped around. “ARTIC SQUIRRELS?!” she cried in excitement, only to be extremely disappointed to find not a tribe of kind polar squirrels but instead the exact opposite. Well, almost the exact opposite.

“Who’re you?” Aziminil asked, cocking her head (something she probably picked up from River). “You don’t look like an arctic squirrel.”

“A what? Arctic squirrel? W-what are you doing down here! Wh-who are you? No one’s ever been down here before! Th-this is too much! I imagined I die of old age! Not of… whatever you’re gonna do to me!!” the creature wailed.

“Do to you? Why would I hurt you? You’re so cute!”

“Oh, w-well, it’s more of what I’m gonna have to do to you. Believe me, if I could just skip this whole process, I would!”

Aziminil just stared at it with a confused yet pleasant smile on her face.

The creature started to float- yes, float!- back and worth, wringing its tiny little hands over and over.

“Do you know where the arctic squirrels are?” Aziminil asked, still with that dumb smile on her face.

“What?” the the creature clearly wasn’t paying attention.

“Arctic squirrels!”

“Arctic what?!”

“Squirrels.”

“Th-there are none.”

Aziminil just smiled wider, “Yeah there are! Everyone says that, but everyone’s just wrong! If you believe in the magical squirrels, they’ll come one day, bearing candy, cookies, thumbtacks, and pure joy! They just seem to be a little late, so I’ve made it my goal to find them and wake them from their magical hibernation!”

He stopped, staring at her. Then he kept moving, trailing smoke behind him.

“Okay, Kevin,” he muttered to himself, “Just do it real fast before more of them show up! But she seems so nice! Well, it’s not like you have a choice! What if she gets to the Gate? Then what will you do? I-I don’t know! KEVIN! Just do it!”

Aziminil kept staring at him.

There was silence for a moment. Then, Kevin turned to look at her and sighed. Suddenly, he reared up, soared on his crackling, wrinkly bat wings, and flew toward Aziminil, looking almost menacing.

Aziminil screamed.

So did Colonel Popcorn. Yes, Colonel Popcorn. He had arrived at the scene with River, Aniko, and Marigold. They were all staring at Aziminil and Kevin, too dumbstruck to react in any way other than terror or confusion. Aniko and River were staring at Kevin with a puzzled look, for they were trying to figure out whether Kevin was cute or grotesque.

See, Kevin is a belker. Belkers are creatures from the Elemental Plane of Air made mostly of smoke. Usually, they look really gross and creepy, like this:

 Pretty disgusting, right?

(Art found on link bellow. Not PotatoCat’s or SquirrelHat’s creation.)

http://inglipnomicon.wikia.com/wiki/The_Belker

But Kevin looked more like this:

(Art here done by SquirrelHat.)

So, as you can see, there was a bit of confusion as the party  (well, Aniko and River– Colonel was too focused on how it was about kill Aziminil, and Marigold thinks everything is adorable) decided whether Kevin was a bloodthirsty monster or an adorable little pet.

I don’t know about you, but I think he’s absolutely adorable.

Anyway, Kevin was soaring at Aziminil, ready to sink his cute little claws into her skin. He probably would have if Aziminil hadn’t reacted so quickly. She dodged the attack, her scream turning into a squeal in the process.

Colonel’s shoulders sagged in relief as River and Aniko made their decision.

“Awww!” Aniko cried, “It’s sooo cute!”

River nodded her head in agreement.

Unfortunately, Kevin heard this little remark and curved through the air to face Aniko.

“Did you just call me cute?!“

Aniko’s smile disappeared as Kevin rushed toward her with his claws outstretched. Aniko did not dodge quite as well as Aziminil, but she was too tough to scream when Kevin sunk his claws into her skin. River whipped out her rapier, ready to defend her friend. But her grip faltered as she stared at the scene in front of her.

Aniko was surrounded by a cloud of Kevin’s smoke. Coughing violently, she was unsuccessfully trying to avoid inhaling him. Her lungs burned. She felt as if they were being shredded from the inside.

“Hey!” shouted River at Kevin, “Don’t even think about it!” And, regaining her confidence, River slashed through Kevin, narrowly missing Aniko herself.

“OW!” Kevin spun off of Aniko, rearing up angrily in front of River.

Aniko, still coughing, glared at Kevin.

“W-what-” *cough* “- the HECK?!” and she too hit Kevin, but with a spell of her own. A giant ball of fire flew towards the belker, hitting him straight in the chest.

Kevin flew back a bit, now coughing himself.

Marigold, who, up until now, had been staring off into space, whipped out her long bow. She aimed it at the air elemental and fired. The arrow soared widely off course.

“Aw,” she pouted.

Colonel, who was a bit late to react, finally came out of his shock.

“Guys!” He called, “Regroup over there!” And he pointed at the huge device looming across the room.

Kevin heard Colonel shouting. For some unknown reason, this seemed to make him even more determined to destroy them.

“Nooooo!!” he shrieked as Colonel Popcorn darted towards his regrouping point. “D-don’t go there!”

Of course, no one listened.

Aniko, River, and Marigold all ran after Colonel. Aziminil, who had been off to the side after dodging Kevin, reached the structure a few seconds after Colonel Popcorn, who was frantically waving for the remaining stragglers to hurry up.  He glanced up and saw Kevin not far behind them.

“GUYS! HURRY!”

Aniko was panting, River had a stitch in her side, and Marigold was lagging behind, but, as they watched Colonel yell more and more, they tried as hard as they could to go faster.

Until Kevin descended upon Marigold.

“Nooo!” she screeched as Kevin tried to suffocate her. She collapsed to the floor, struggling to breathe. In his intense anger, Kevin was spinning like a small tornado, whipping her hair around in a violent wind.

River pulled up short and whirled around to attack Kevin. Pulling out her shortbow, she tried to aim at the whirlwind surrounding Marigold, but when she fired her arrow it was spun off its course by the swirling winds.

Cursing, River kicked at the gold beneath her feet. Aniko huffed violently and shot a bolt of fire from her hands at the cyclone that was Kevin.

“STOP ATTACKING US!” she cried, hitting him again. Kevin pulled away from Marigold, who was fortunately still alive, though very winded. River ran to her side, grabbed her by the arms, and started to drag her off towards Colonel and Aziminil.

“I’m just trying to do my job!” Kevin wailed, his expression crumpling.

“I DON’T CARE!!” and with that, Aniko ran toward River and Marigold, and hefted them both up, running with renewed speed.

Colonel stared at this scene in disbelief. Aziminil, on the other hand, was poking around at the huge contraption they were standing on. She had tried to ask Colonel Popcorn about it, but was hushed each time. When Aniko finally collapsed with River, who collapsed with Marigold, who collapsed with exhaustion onto the platform, Aziminil had found a strange lever sticking out of the side of the statue.

“Coooool…” she whispered.

Colonel knelt by the rest of his party. “Are you guys all right?” he asked.

All he heard was groans and coughing.

“Is that…a groan of ‘I’m good’ or ‘I’m bad?'” he asked.

“I’m not gonna answer that question,” Aniko muttered into the ground.

While the party was struggling to stand up, Kevin soared at Colonel Popcorn

“WATCH OUT!” River cried, yanking Colonel’s head down by his ponytail just in time to prevent Kevin from poking his eyes out.

“GET AWAY FROM THAT!” Kevin wailed, with a look mingled with despair and anger, “YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!”

Looping around, he got into position to swoop at them again. This time, he aimed for River, but at the last moment, changed course to Aniko. With no time for her to move, it seemed like the end for Aniko’s one remaining eye. But suddenly, there was a huge hum from behind the party. The base of the statue they stood on began to vibrate, so much that River and Colonel stumbled and almost fell off. Kevin, inches away from Aniko’s face, suddenly yelped and broke off his current course to get a look at his precious machine.

Aziminil was standing right next to the lever she had found earlier, still grasping the handle. The rune-incribed circle was humming, blues and yellows swirling inside it, wind whipping from the colorful opening. Aziminil’s hair soared around her face, framing it dramatically.

Kevin screeched in anger. He dragged his claws down his face in despair, leaving marks down his smoky cheeks. He stared at Aziminil in horror. Suddenly, he lunged at her, a look of murderous cruelty warping his cute little face.

Aziminil stood there, confused by Kevin’s unexpected anger. Frightened, she looked into his red eyes, filled to the brim with murder. Fortunately for her, Colonel Popcorn rammed his shoulder into Aziminil, and they both fell in what seemed like slow motion through the blue mist.

They didn’t reappear on the other side.

Kevin’s face crumpled. He shrieked and turned to face the remaining party. Marigold was distractedly chewing her shirt, Aniko was sheepishly looking at Kevin, and River was staring in disbelief where Colonel and Aziminil had disappeared. None of them looked particularly happy.

“YOU,” he growled, his voice dripping with menace. Dark and looming, it seemed to circle the party, as if warning them of the oncoming danger.

“Um, River?” Aniko nudged her. River’s gaze broke away from the portal. “I think we should probably do something about this.”

River stood still for a second more, than turned to look at Aniko. “The portal,” she said. And then, without another word, she bolted toward’s the same spot Colonel and Aziminil had recently disappeared through.

“ARE YOU NUTS?!” Aniko called after her.

But River didn’t stop. Instead, she leapt through the portal without a backward glance.

“NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!” Kevin cried. “NOT ANOTHER ONE! YOU TWO! DON’T MOVE!”

But Kevin was too late. They were already moving. Aniko, not wanting to be left behind with Marigold, grabbed her and darted toward the portal.

Kevin screeched and lunged at them again. Unfortunately, he was too late. Aniko and Marigold disappeared into the portal before Kevin could reach them. His scream after that echoed through the cavern, the cave, and the snowy landscape around him. He flew through the mist, skidding through it to land in the same cavern, on the other side of the machine. He couldn’t go through.

He had lost them.

The party was gone.