Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Colonel Popcorn’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Chapter 14

“H-how?” Colonel stuttered. “How is this here? Why are there more?!”

Colonel was standing in a room filled with chaos. He had just been confronted by a device that was directly linked with what Colonel could only imagine was a dimension filled with death, destruction, and lots of people like Corbin.

“Oh, uh, h-hey, Colonel!” Aniko waved nervously at him. “How ya been?”

“How did you two even get here?!” Colonel shook his hands at them.

Aniko and River at least had the decency to look slightly guilty. “Well,” River began, “it started when–“

“DROP THE BOOK!” Clara cried, pointing a finger at the thief.

“Hey, did you replace us already?” Aniko called to Colonel, faking an insulted tone. River chuckled. Colonel glared at them both.

“THAT’S NOT YOUR PROPERTY!” Clara cried again.

“No, but seriously,” River whispered to Aniko. “Who is that guy in the cloak?”

“There’s no way I’m giving you this book!” the figure cried.

“If you haven’t noticed,” Clara said, hands on her hips, “you’re outnumbered. Hand me the book.”

The figure looked nervously from person to person, then their shoulders slumped. Their hand shook as they turned the book over to Clara.

Clara snatched it from their hands and cradled it to her chest. “Now take your hood off!” she commanded. “I’m gonna need to know what you look like so we can ban you from the monastery!”

The figure flipped off their hood defeatedly, clearly still hung up about the loss of the book. Colonel saw a mess of short red hair and a freckled face. A young man of about twenty-five stood in front of them, a sad look on his round face.

“Who’re you?” Aziminil asked nicely.

“My name’s Sam,” the man said.

Aziminil clapped. “My name’s Aziminil! It’s so good to meet you, Sam!” She shook his hand.

“Aziminil,” Clara nudged her. “Don’t shake hands with this guy! He’s a thief!”

“I’m sorry!” Sam cried. “It was just one book! You have so many! I was gonna try and convince Lucas to let me give it back when we were done with it anyway! Please don’t arrest me!”

“Chill, little man,” Aniko said, watching Sam start to breathe quickly.

“Who’s Lucas?” Clara asked, looking around for someone else.

“My buddy! We’re childhood friends. Actually, we have a really interesting story if you’d care to hear–“

“Why did you try to steal this book?!” Clara interrupted, still glaring at him.

“It’s a long story!” Sam hung his head.

“Get started, then!”

Sam sighed, then started his tale. “Like I said, Lucas and I were childhood friends. We did everything together!” Sam brightened at the mention of these good-old-days. “Lucas was always the one with the good ideas! I did everything he said!”

“Sounds like a pushover to me,” Aniko rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I eventually wanted to move out of Quartzite. I was offered a really good job in accounting and I also wanted to go to this one college, and basically Lucas and I split paths. But we agreed to meet each other in Quartzite five years later to see how we were both doing! So, like a month ago, I met up with him again! Apparently, he’s gotten into some quote-on-quote occult stuff? And he persuaded me to help him out! Like old times, y’know?”

He smiled sincerely at the rest of the room. “I’m really not a bad guy,” he said, weakly. “But Lucas seems to be struggling to find his path in the world, and I thought that if I encouraged this dark magic stuff, he’d get inspired and go get a job or something! He seems to have this complicated plan to get this stuff going, and I think it’s like a senior thesis? He never did complete that in high school. Basically, he needs this book to help him succeed in life!”

The whole room stared. “He’s dumb,” River whispered to Aniko. She nodded.

“What was that?” Sam asked politely.

“Nothing,” River shook her head.

“Well, um,” Clara looked down at the book in her hands. “As much as I’d like to encourage your friend to get inspired, I can’t actually give you this, uh, very dangerous book.”

Sam was oblivious to Clara’s hint. “That’s okay, ma’am. Please just don’t arrest me.”

Clara sighed. “I’m not gonna arrest you, Sam.”

Sam’s face broke open in a smile. “Oh, thank you so much!”

“Now,” Clara crossed her arms, “how did you know about these passageways?”

“Oh these?” Sam gestured to the walls. “I have no clue what they are! My buddy Lucas just directed me to come this way with the book! I don’t know why!”

“This guy is so clueless!” Aniko huffed.

“Wait,” River froze. “That makes it sound like Lucas is coming here right now to meet up with Sam!”

“That was the plan, yes,” Sam said.

“Oh my god!” Colonel moaned. “You should’ve said something!”

“Ah, don’t worry!” Sam smiled. “Lucas wouldn’t hurt any of you!”

“You haven’t hung out with him for five years!” River cried.

“And he likes demonic rituals!” Aniko clutched her head.

Sam looked disheartened by their comments. “I’m sure it’ll all be okay if we just–”

Suddenly the door behind Colonel opened, and a man of a stoutly nature stomped through it. He had a tangled clump of brown hair and no beard, a surprise for a dwarf. Colonel yelped and darted out of the way.

“Lucas!” several people in the room shouted at once. Lucas looked up and stopped walking, clearly surprised that there were more people other than Sam.

“Sam?! Who’re these people?! What’s going on?” he yelled in a gruff and scratchy voice.

“Hey, good old buddy Lucas! I met some really nice people when I got caught stealing that book for you! They’ve agreed not to send us to jail and–“

“You lost the book?!” Lucas cried, glancing between Sam and the book Clara was now holding.

“I mean, yes, but is that really so bad? We can get another one–“

“No!” Lucas stomped over to Sam and shook him by the shoulders, a difficult task since their heights were so disproportionate. “How could you screw this up?! We need to do this operation now, while we’re able! I thought I discussed this with you! I told you that this mission was really important! I’m never gonna get the other guys to trust you now! DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED?!”

Sam flinched. “No! I’m sorry!”

“Why do you need to do it now?” Clara asked.

“Oh, haha, I’m not really sure why?” Sam said, nervously. “Lucas said something about how the authorities are preoccupied trying to find the princess cause she was recently captured by a dragon or something, but I don’t why we should be wary of the authorities, y’know? This is legal, right Lu–“

“PLEASE SHUT UP, SAM!” Lucas yelled at him, spraying him with spit.

Lucas glared at him a few seconds more, then turned quickly to face the rest of the group. “It’s okay! We can fix this!” He seemed to think for a second while the party exchanged concerned and confused glances trying to figure out what to do next.

“Ah! Two birds with one stone! We’ll go ahead and get a blood sacrifice while we’re at it!”

“A what?!” Colonel whispered, beginning to hyperventilate.

“And then we’ll go meet up at the base at the Leaky Lip?” Sam asked.

“SAM. REALLY? UGH, just grab the little one!” Lucas pointed at River.

“Yes, sir, boss-friend-buddy!” Sam dashed toward River.

“Nope!” River whipped out her dagger and looked threateningly at Sam, who immediately ran back to Lucas. “Oh, boy,” Lucas sighed. “You have a lot to learn. Fine! Grab the lady with the book!”

“Wait,” Clara looked up from inspecting the book’s cover, “does he mean me?”

Sam quickly ran over to Clara, grabbed the book from her hands, and, with a sorrowful apology, hit her violently over the head.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Sam whimpered as Clara’s eyes rolled up to the back of her head and she fell in a tangle of limbs to the ground.

“Oh nooo!” Aziminil cried. “Clara!”

“UGH,” Aniko balled her hands into fists. “Let’s beat these suckers up!”

“I don’t think so,” Lucas quickly cast a spell while muttering demonic words under his breath, and River saw the edges of her vision cloud into red. Stumbling, River let her hand fly to the wall to stop herself from falling, but she could see the rest of her comrades tumbling over. Knowing it was useless, River fell to her knees and toppled over. She blacked out.


“River.”

“Ugh,” River moaned, slowly stumbling into consciousness. She registered that Colonel was trying to shake her awake, but her head really hurt, and it was difficult to force her eyes open.

“River.”

Colonel was starting to sound desperate, so River pushed herself up slowly.

“What just happened?” River asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I think Lucas just kidnapped Clara to sacrifice her for some demonic ritual, and, to avoid us stopping him, used some occult spell to knock us out.”

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

River opened her eyes and saw all her comrades still limp on the floor. Colonel looked like the first one up, and he had presumably gone to wake River next because she was the most sane. Clara, Sam, and Lucas were all long gone.

“Wow, how long do you think we’ve been out?” River asked.

“I don’t know,” Colonel replied. “But that was a powerful spell. I still feel unsteady. I think it really muddled our minds.”

“Well that’s just great, isn’t it?” River sighed, closing her eyes again and leaning her head against the wall. “At least I’m not the blood sacrifice, right?”

“Yeah, I guess there’s that,” Colonel chuckled. “But we’ll need to hurry to get Clara back.”

“How’d she get involved in this?”

“She was our guide when Marigold, Aziminil, and I went to find you and Aniko,” Colonel glared at River. “You two need to stop wandering off!”

River titled her head to the side. “Sorry, Colonel. Won’t happen again.”

Colonel had a feeling it happen once River forgot this conversation, but it was nice of her to agree for now.

“Thank you,” Colonel said.

“Gosh, that spell hurt!” River mumbled, still rubbing her head.

“Yeah,” Colonel sighed, glancing around the room. His eyes landed on the portal.

“Why do you think this is down here?” River asked.

“I don’t know,” Colonel moaned. “Out of all the places it could be, why is it at the one monastery we chose to go to?”

River laughed. “Just don’t go through it this time!”

“That won’t happen, don’t worry,” Colonel chuckled.

“Do you think it has something to do with Lucas and Sam’s demonic sacrifice?” River asked. “Do you think… it maybe has something to do with Corbin?”

Colonel shivered. “I hope not.”

River closed her eyes again, blocking out the light from Aniko’s light spell that was miraculously still there. Eventually, River could hear the sounds of the rest of her party waking and groaning.

Soon, the room filled with the sounds of Aziminil and Marigold’s pounding feet. Colonel, who was talking with Aniko and River, looked up suddenly when he saw Aziminil dash over to the portal to lay her hand on the familiar lever she had pulled all those months ago.

“What’re you guys doing?!” Colonel cried.

“We’re playing tag!” Aziminil laughed. “This is base!”

“What?! No! DON’T DO THAT!”

“Why not?” Marigold pouted.

Aniko was laughing as Colonel started to flail his arms at Aziminil and Marigold. “PLEASE DEAR GOD DON’T ACTIVATE IT AGAIN.”

“Activate what?” Aziminil laughed at Colonel’s funny face.

Twenty minutes later the group was trekking back through the tunnels trying to find their way out. Unfortunately, Lucas, Colonel, Aziminil, Marigold, and Clara had made ruins of River’s bread trail, much to River’s dismay and Aniko’s entertainment.

“I told you it wouldn’t work!” Aniko chuckled.

“It worked for us for awhile,” River rolled her eyes.

“Oh, what if we get lost down here and we can’t rescue Clara and we die alone?” Colonel moaned.

“How could you die alone?” River asked. “You’re surrounded by friends.”

“Not if I’m the last to go,” Colonel murmured darkly.

“Wow, someone woke up happy,” Aniko muttered.

“The real question is,” River said, sighing, “how do we get up the narrow slope, and then reopen the wall? There’s gotta be an easier way out of here.”

Colonel looked terrified by the concept of struggling to get up the slope again.

“If only we knew which way the other guys went,” Aniko huffed, crossing her arms.

“Actually!” Marigold brightened at this, “I can track them!”

Everyone in the party froze and turned to look at her. Marigold smiled back at them.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. “I’m a ranger! I’ve got cool tracking powers!”

“How come you’ve never mentioned this before?!” River threw up her hands.

“Oh, I usually I forget I have it,” Marigold shrugged.

“D’know how many times this would’ve been useful?!” Aniko growled.

“Really? Like when?”

“Uh, that time we lost Aziminil in the snow,” Aniko started counting off on her fingers.

“When we were trying to find where Colonel was in Lux’s castle,” River joined in.

“Not to mention the number of times we lose Aziminil as she chases something stupid like squirrels or butterflies,” Aniko rolled her eyes.

“Or when Aziminil runs off to the craft store to get you more crayons without telling us,” River accused.

“Or that time you and Aziminil ran Purrcy off and Colonel had about twenty nervous breakdowns while we frantically tried to find him,” Aniko cringed at the memory.

“Guys, we all get the message. You can stop,” Colonel cut in as River started another one. “Marigold, please help us and find where they went.”

“On it, sir!” Marigold chuckled, saluting Colonel.

“Why are you doing that?” Colonel sighed.

“Because you’re a Colonel! It’s a joke!” Marigold started laughing as she inspected the ground. Aniko had to resist the urge to push her face down so she hit the floor.

“I thiiiink,” Marigold began, “that they went this way!”

“But you’re sure, right?” River glared at her. “Cause if you’re not we could get stuck down here for a very long time, probably resulting in our own untimely deaths as well as Clara’s and probably guaranteeing the release of some terrible demon that would quite possibly be someone like Corbin, or even the man himself.”

Marigold stood there for a second chewing her lip. “You lost me,” she eventually said while River, Aniko, and Colonel gave a collective sigh. “But I’m half sure they went this way?”

Colonel moaned and put his face in his hands. River patted his shoulder.

“She’s the harbinger of doom,” Aniko whispered quietly.

“What was that?” Marigold turned toward Aniko.

“Oh, nothing, nothing,” Aniko shrugged.

“Where are we going when we supposedly get out of here?” Aniko asked after the party had somewhat reluctantly set off behind Marigold.

“We’re gonna try and find a place called the Leaky Lip,” Colonel replied. “That where Sam slipped and said they were headed.”

“Y’know, I think Sam is being forced into this,” River said, glancing over at Colonel. “I think he’s being threatened. Lucas mentioned something about him not wanting to be killed.”

Colonel nodded. “I think you’re right. We might have to rescue him too.”

“UGH,” Aniko huffed. “People need to stick up for themselves.”

“Well, not everyone is as confident and violent as you,” River shrugged.

“People should be more like me, though,” Aniko crossed her arms. “I’m incredible.”

Colonel paled at the thought of a world full of people exactly like Aniko.

“Yo, Marigold, are we almost there?” Aniko griped, already bored.

“I think so!” Marigold looked up. “It seems they went up this staircase!” She pointed ahead of them.

“Oh, we’re saved!” Aniko grinned, racing up the stairs.

“Where do you think it leads?” River asked, ascending after Aniko.

“Probably somewhere in the monastery,” Colonel shrugged.

“God, that place is a maze,” River rolled her eyes. “It’s gonna be fun trying to find the exit.”

“Do you think we should tell the monks about Clara, or just try and get her back?” Colonel asked. “I think we ought too.”

River screwed up her face. “Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Colonel.”

“What?! But they’re going to want to know what happened to Clara!”

“Wellll, what if, instead,” River said suggestively, “we just get her back as quick as we can so that the monks, a) don’t get really mad at us, and b) view us as the heroes who got their buddy back instead of the delinquents who lost her!”

Aniko nodded with River’s words. “I like that plan!”

“But,” Colonel began.

“C’mon, Colonel P!” River added. “Do you really wanna break the news to the monks about Clara?”

“Plus, don’t you think we’ve wasted enough time when we need pursue these guys and get Clara back? She could be dead by now!” Aniko exclaimed.

Colonel shivered. “Oh, I really hope not!”

River shrugged. “Clara’s probably fine. It hasn’t been that long.”

“Guys!” Marigold cried happily from far above them. “I found an exit! This leads into the pantry of the kitchen!”

“Really? Great!” Aniko pounded up the stairs after Marigold, and River, Colonel, and Aziminil squeezed up to follow.

The party exited through a slim door at the top of the stairs that lead into the expansive food pantry. Long rows of food stretched off before them, ending at another door, this one locked.

“GOD,” Aniko huffed as River knelt down to pick the lock. “One of these days we’ll get out of here!”

“I mean, Lucas and Sam probably want to make the way to them as difficult and time consuming as possible so they can kill Clara before we get there,” River shrugged, working quickly.

Colonel moaned a bit, closing his eyes. “I hope Clara’s okay,” he said.

“Eh, probably she as fine as you get when you’re kidnapped for a blood ritual,” Aniko shrugged.

“I can therapy her when we see her!” Marigold clapped excitedly.

“Therapy isn’t a verb,” River said, standing up and pushing the door open. “And I opened the door.”

“Yay! We can leave!”

“Aw,” Aziminil said, her mouth full of food. “I wash jusht finishin’ my peanut budder!”

“Aziminil, please leave the monks’ food alone and stop cramming your mouth with condiments,” Colonel sighed.

“Okaysh!” Aziminil tried to smile, but peanut butter was in danger of leaking out of her mouth, forcing her to stop.

River peered around the corner now that the door was opened. “I don’t see anybody here,” she whispered.

“Why’re you’re whispering?!” Marigold called loudly from the back of the group. River jumped. “Be quiet!” she hissed. “We don’t want to get caught by the monks! We need to leave quickly, and we don’t have time to answer their questions!

“Oh, okay!” Marigold replied, whispering loudly now. River rolled her eyes and continued forward.

“Wait, where’s the exit in this place?” she said, stopping and turning to face Colonel.

“Why’re you looking at me?” he eventually asked.

“Do you know where the exit is?”

“Why would I know?”

“Because you’re responsible!”

You’re responsible!”

“No, no, no: I’m sometimes responsible.”

“Why doesn’t that include now?”

“Because I never thought we’d be trying to quickly flee the monastery!”

“Well, what do we do no–“

Colonel was interrupted by a large crash. Jumping, he cried, “What was that?!”

“MARIGOLD!” River gasped, Why, dear god, why did you throw a rock through the window?!”

“Because you guys needed an exit, so I made an exit!” Marigold smiled proudly.

“You could’ve just opened the window! Now the monks have probably heard!”

“Wait, I thought the monks were our friends?”

River put her face in her hands.

“How many times,” Aniko growled, “do we have to explain it to you?!”

“Explain what? I forgot what we were talking about,” Marigold said airily.

Colonel grabbed Aniko’s shoulders and steered her toward the window before Aniko strangled Marigold. “We’ve gotta go quickly now, guys!” he said nervously.

Aniko forced the window open so as to not cut herself on the jagged edges, and she began to clamber out while River watched the door.

Once Aziminil and Aniko were outside, River shut the door hastily, turning to the remaining group. “I see the monks coming down the hall! We’ve gotta hurry!”

Colonel pushed Marigold toward the window, whispering “Hurry, hurry!”

River locked the door and pushed a couple chairs up against the entrance.

“Go, Colonel!” She turned toward him now that Marigold had exited the window safely. The door made a thudding noise as the monks tried to force their way in.

“Shouldn’t you go first–“

“No! You have to go now!”

Colonel slid out of the window right as the monks burst their way into the room. “HEY!” they called as River darted toward the window.

An older monk rushed toward River, trying to grab the back of her shawl, but River was to quick for him. River jumped through the window much easier than the others due to her small size, and the monk stopped short as he realized he was too big to get through the opening.

“Run, run, run!” Colonel commanded as the entire group rushed quickly away from the yelling monks.

“I don’t know where I’m supposed to direct us!” Aniko yelled wildly from the front of the pack.

“Just… run… till you can’t… see the monastery anymore!” Colonel huffed.

“Well I can’t see it now ’cause it’s behind me!”

“JUST RUN!”

Turning down alleys and dashing through the streets, Aniko finally grounded to a halt, her hands on her knees. Behind her, she could hear Aziminil and Marigold grinding to a halt and running into each other, giggling with the impact. River stumbled herself, narrowly missing a collision with the wall, and Colonel sat down to catch his breath.

“Where… are we?” River eventually managed.

“In Quartzite!” Aziminil smiled.

“I meant more specifically,” River said.

Aziminil thought a moment, then responded, “On the ground!”

“Please just shut up,” River crossed her arms. “Colonel or Aniko! Where are we?”

“Gerber Street,” Colonel said.

“How do you know that?” Aniko looked up in surprise.

Colonel pointed wordlessly to the street sign.

Aniko nodded “Oh, yeah.”

“Where are we gonna find The Leaky Lip?” River asked.

“Uh, ask for directions, I guess?” Colonel shrugged.

“Great!” Aniko huffed. “Now we just need to find someone to ask.”

The group picked themselves up and started to wander the streets in search of someone to ask for help. Wandering to another street, Colonel tapped the shoulder of a random passerby. “Excuse me, miss,” he said. The woman stopped and turned to face Colonel.

“Yes?” she said, looking at them quizzically.

“My associates and I were wondering if you could point us in the direction of the Leaky Lip?”

“Oh, The Leaky Lip?” the woman looked at them strangely. “Are you guys new to town?”

“Uh, yes, we are,” Colonel nodded.

“Well, I’m sorry to say this, but the Leaky Lip closed down years ago.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But if you’re really interested, they’re selling the building soon.”

“So, the building’s still there?” Colonel asked.

“Yes,” the woman nodded. “It’s on Forest Avenue.” The woman pointed down the street. “Take a right, then left, then two rights, and it’ll be on your left.”

“Thank you!” Colonel waved at her as the group set off.

“So the building’s closed down, huh?” River said. “Lucas and his friends are probably thinking that no one will come in there.”

“Yeah,” Aniko nodded. “Except they’re wrong, ’cause we will!”

“About that,” Colonel began. “they probably know we’re coming. Lucas was there when Sam accidentally tipped us off. The place is almost certainly going to on the lookout for us.”

“Then we gotta be extra careful,” River agreed.

“Like ninjas!” Aziminil cried.

Marigold did a karate kick and fell over. Aniko rolled her eyes.

Colonel helped up Marigold, who promptly stumbled and fell again, this time with a loud yelp.

“Yeah,” River said, “we’re real quiet.”

“Yay! River agrees with me!” Aziminil clapped.

“No, see, I was being sarcastic because–“

“It’s not worth it,” Colonel shook his head.

The group approached the final turn, and Colonel peered carefully around the corner. He saw a row of shops, one of which was clearly inoperative: the windows were boarded up, and even though night had fallen, there were no lights illuminating the cracks. An old, bent sign dangled above the door, reading “The Leaky Lip.” Colonel could see no one around.

Turning back to face his friends, he said, “I don’t see anybody outside.”

“Maybe they’re keeping watch inside?” Aniko suggested.

“Possibly,” Colonel nodded. “Does anyone have any ideas on how to get in without notice?”

The group all silenced, thinking about the various, chaotic ways to force their way inside.

Noticing the grin on Aniko’s face, Colonel repeated, “Without notice!”

Aniko pouted and stuck her tongue out at Colonel.

“Any ideas?”

“We could… burn them out!” Aniko looked up excitedly.

“Or!” River grinned before Colonel could interject. “We could burn the building next to them that’s closed, freaking them out so they run away and we don’t simultaneously kill Clara!”

“Wow, we are geniuses!” Aniko clapped her hands together.

“No, absolutly not!” Colonel cried before they could continue. “We will not get arrested for destroying private property and we will not cause whoever owns that store harm by burning their living down to the ground.”

“Fiiine….” Aniko and River sighed together.

“Even though they could build a new store,” Aniko muttered.

“And we could break out of jail,” River murmured.

“We should cause a distraction!” Aziminil eventually added. “Marigold and I could lead it and then the people would come after us and that would be fun!”

River shook her head frantically. “That is a recipe for disaster!”

“Yeah, I agree with River, adamantly,” Aniko nodded.

“Aw,” Aziminil pouted.

“We could still cause a distraction, though….” Aniko trailed off in thought.

“I know!” Colonel brightened. “Why don’t I cast Major Illusion, and make it look like one of us running down the street? Then the people in there would think it was us, and follow!”

The group seemed to consider this for a second. “I like that idea!” River answered.

“Yeah, it’ll probably work,” Aniko shrugged. “But we should do it quickly! It’s getting really dark outside, so the ritual may start soon.”

“Question!” Aziminil raised her hand.

“Aziminil,” Colonel Popcorn sighed, “I’ve told you that you don’t need to raise your hand; no one’s the boss here.”

“Okay-dokey, boss!”

Colonel sighed again. “What’s your question?”

“Will I be able to hug the illusion?”

“Ummm… no?” Colonel replied.

“Aw,” Aziminil and Marigold sighed together.

“Sorry,” Colonel patted their shoulders.

“Who will the illusion look like?” Colonel looked up at the group.

“It should be the most memorable person,” River said, “so they recognize them.”

“Well, who stands out the most?” Aziminil asked.

The group silenced, looking around at their fellow friends.

“Aniko,” Colonel eventually said, looking Aniko’s outfit up and down.

“Aniko,” River agreed.

“Aw, really?! I’m flattered!” Aniko grinned.

With the matter settled, Colonel Popcorn cast Major Illusion, and Aniko watched as an exact replica of herself materialized in front of her.

“Wow,” Aniko studied herself. “I’m gorgeous!”

River laughed as Colonel commanded the spectral Aniko to walk up to the Leaky Lip, pause for a bit, then run away. Aniko watched with baited breath to see if people in the bar would follow her fake self.

There was a scary second where no one came out of the abandoned building, and Aniko was scared it hadn’t worked. Then suddenly, a dark figure sprinted out after the illusion.

“It worked!” Aniko said, clapping her hands.

“Let’s get going, then!” Marigold grinned.

The group dashed together toward the door. River knelt in front of the entrance, peering at the lock mechanism.”No traps,” she whispered, “but it’s locked.”

“Hurry it up, will you?!” Aniko growled, looking left and right. “That guy’ll come back once Colonel’s spell disappears!”

“Colonel, when does the spell go away?” River asked.

“When I lose concentration,” Colonel said, with his eyes screwed up.

“Oh, okay, sorry,” River whispered.

Click.

“It’s open!” River said grandly as she opened the door and walked through.

River walked through the door. There was a split second where River could see some chairs and a table in the half light before a dark shadow loomed from her right.

River had just enough time to turn and see a person standing beside her before a heavy club slammed into her stomach and sent her flying across the room, where she lay slumped by the wall.

“Who the heck are you?!” Aniko yelled in protest before she punched the figure’s head, causing them to stumble to the side.

“Kiwi Rivi!” Aziminil dashed over to River while Aniko, Colonel, and Marigold preceded to beat up the stranger.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” River said, huffing. “They just knocked the wind outta me.”

“Oh, good!” Aziminil sighed. “I’d hate to have to do CPR or use my god-like squirrel power. I’ve been told never to use it, unless the world’s about to end!”

River stared at her blankly. “I really hope you’re joking.”

“Nope!” Aziminil smiled.

“Y’know, there’s no way of telling with you,” River rolled her eyes.

“We knocked this person out!” Aniko called quietly from the far side of the room, where a figure lay slumped on the floor.

“Who are they?” River asked, standing up and making her way over to them.

“Some lady who was standing guard, I guess,” Aniko shrugged.

Colonel hit his forehead with his hand. “Of course! They only sent one guard, not all of them!”

“Oh,” Marigold said.

“Yeah, that actually makes logical sense,” River agreed.

“Well, do you think our presence has been detected?” Aniko asked.

Colonel shrugged. “I have no clue.”

“Only time will tell,” River nodded.

“Well, that’s just great,” Aniko growled.

Marigold ran over and collided with Aniko, wrapping her arms around her. “It’ll be fiiiine, Neko!”

“I thought I told you, on many different occasions,” Aniko began in a low voice, “to NOT CALL ME THAT.”

“Shhh!” Colonel hushed them quickly. “Be quiet!”

They all quieted quickly, and Colonel strained his ear to try and hear what he thought had been voices.

“Didja hear something?” a hushed voice asked from around the corner.

Colonel quickly gestured for them all to hide. River dashed over to the unconscious body of the guard and propped her up in a chair facing the window, then ran to join the others. They were all hiding behind the old, unused bar. Leaping over the counter edge, River’s head disappeared right as two people walked into the room they were in.

“Gah, it’s dark in here,” a deep voice grumbled.

“Well, we can’t keep the lights on,” a higher voice shrugged.

“Is Cleo asleep on the job again?” the first man grumbled.

“Ugh, she’s always dozing off,” the other woman huffed.

There was a pause as Colonel imagined the man looking around. “Where’d Patrick go?”

“Ah, he’s always rushing off on ‘new leads,'” the lady muttered bitterly.

“Well, he’d better hurry back,” the man grunted, “or he’ll miss the Coming! The ritual starts tonight!”

Marigold gasped, but Aniko shot her hand out and covered her mouth before most of the sound came out.

Ew!” Aniko hissed into Marigold’s ear. “Did you just lick my hand?!”

Colonel hit their shoulders and put his finger up to his mouth.

“I can’t believe this day has finally come!” one of them squealed. “To believe that the time has finally come for the dark lord to finally come to us! We will become unto gods!”

“Calm yourself, brother!” the other said, but she was chuckling too.

The group exchanged worried glances while the pair exited the room.

“Clara is gonna die tonight!” Colonel Popcorn moaned softly. “Not to mention, it will probably result in the release of Corbin into our dimension!”

“Then we gotta act quickly!” River hissed. “The sun’s been set for hours!”

“Having some experience with demonic cults,” Aniko began in a hushed tone, “the ‘Coming,’ as they’re calling it, will probably happen at some oddly specific time like midnight or three a.m.”

“Y’know,” Colonel began, “the way you phrased that really scares me. Since when have you been in demonic rituals?!”

“Psh, I haven’t participated in any for, like, years.”

“Still!”

“Guys, guys, we’ve gotta go,” River interrupted. “It’s probably almost midnight, which is bad for us and especially Clara. Aziminil and Marigold are tying up Cleo and gagging her. If she wakes up while we’re still here, she hopefully won’t be able to alert everybody!”

The group slowly began making their way down the corridor that they’d seen the other cultists go down.

“What do you think we’ll find?” Colonel asked nervously.

River shrugged. “Hopefully Clara?”

“Oh, yeah,” Colonel nodded.

The group crept down a long corridor in darkness until they came upon a door that was open by just a crack. The group peered cautiously around the corner.

Aziminil saw a huge room with several people wandering around talking, all dressed in black cloaks with hoods. There was a strange symbol painted in red on the floor. Aziminil was pretty sure it was some sort of unholy symbol, and there were candles on each of its three points. There was a slab of stone in the center of the symbol, long enough for a person to lie on.

“It doesn’t look like they’ve started yet,” River whispered.

Colonel let out a sigh, “Oh thank god, that’s good!”

“Yeah,” Aniko nodded. “They haven’t killed Clara yet!”

“Yay, Clara!” Marigold clapped.

“SSSSHH,” Colonel, River, and Aniko all shushed Marigold at the same time.

Luckily, it seemed as though no one heard them, and the party crouched just outside the door to discuss their next move.

“What should we do?” Aniko crossed her arms.

“Well, we need to get Clara out of there before they start the ritual,” Colonel whispered.

“Yeah, but I don’t think we can sneak through that many people without getting noticed, and they’re probably holding Clara in a room adjacent to this one,” River said.

Colonel thought for a moment. “That is true….”

“We could just run out and grab Clara when they bring her in?” Aziminil suggested.

“Not a half bad idea,” Colonel shrugged.

“Guys,” Marigold whispered.

“So that means we’ll just have to keep an eye out for when they start getting ready,” Aniko said, considering the idea.

“That could work,” River agreed. “Hopefully they’ll be surprised enough–“

“Guys,” Marigold whispered again.

“–that they won’t react until we’ve gotten to Clara,” River finished with an annoyed look at Marigold.

GUYS,” Marigold whispered shouted for a third time.

What?!” Aniko growled.

Marigold pointed into the room. “I think they’re starting!”

WHAT?” Colonel quickly glanced into the room. The cloaked figures had brought out Clara, who was limping but alive and conscious. They roughly shoved her toward the strange symbol and slab of stone.

“See,” Marigold whispered. “They’ve brought Clara out!”

“Shoot, we’ve missed our opportunity!” River cursed.

“We’ve gotta do something, now!” Colonel muttered fervently.

“It’s too late,” Aniko said in a sad, low voice.

The cultists were sitting in a circle around the symbol on the ground and chanting, the red book propped in front of them, while a short figure that Colonel suspected was Lucas forced a struggling Clara onto the stone, where she was bound tightly with ropes.

Almost instantly, black tendrils of smoke and shadows began to claw at Clara, consuming her, and Aniko was instantly reminded of watching Corbin’s energy take over her comrades on the pirate ship. Clara let out a sound of agony, and a dark, pulsing energy seemed to surround all the cultists.

Suddenly, surprising the rest of the party, Colonel quickly burst out of the door where the group was hiding and ran toward the ritual taking place. River, startling, quickly ran after him.

“ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY,” Aniko yelled after them, pulling Aziminil back by her scarf. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF YOU INTERRUPT A DEMONIC RITUAL?!”

Unfortunately, Marigold quickly ran after them too, and Aniko, rolling her eyes, gave up and followed them in, with Aziminil pounding just behind her.

“We’ve gotta save Clara!” Colonel called as the cultists, startled, scrambled in different directions.

Ahead of the others, River and Colonel reached Clara first, and pulled her off the stone. But when River touched Clara’s ankle to save her, she was suddenly hit with a blinding pain, forcing her to keel over in agony. A darkness consumed her mind, and River saw shadows moving through the dark. Evil glinting in demonic eyes, long sharp claws, a world unlike any she’d ever seen before. Fear was consuming her, unsettling shapes and beings swam before her eyes, forcing their way to her mind’s eye. River knew she was seeing something she shouldn’t, a world that wasn’t her own.

River gasped.

As suddenly and quickly as the images as come to her mind, they were gone, leaving her lying on the cold stone floor.

“River?!” Colonel called. He had see River convulse and fall out of sight behind the stone Clara still lay on, and he could no longer see her. He pulled Clara off the altar as best he could, and quickly dashed around to try and find River.

Marigold, Aniko, and Aziminil ran up beside Colonel, who was trying to talk to River amidst the chaos.

“The cultists are trying to come after us!” Aniko yelled. “Hey, why’s River on the ground?”

“I don’t know!” Colonel moaned. “She just collapsed!”

“Oh, boy,” Aniko muttered worriedly, “I told you guys not to mess with rituals!”

“I’m okay,” River groaned.

“A-are you sure?” Colonel asked.

“Guys! We need to get Clara out of here fast!” Aniko said as Aziminil cast a wind spell that pushed the nearest cultists back.

River pushed herself up. “Let’s get going, then!” she shouted.

“Umm, guys, why is Clara shaking?” Marigold pointed down at the unconscious form of their friend.

“Oh, this is very bad,” Aniko said, her voice trembling.

“What? Why?” Aziminil cried.

“This is what it looked like–“

The party was abruptly thrown backward by a sudden pulse of dark energy that originated from Clara. River slammed back against the wall, slumping toward the ground surrounded by her comrades and the other cultists, now with their own hoods thrown back.

Clara suddenly floated upward, black mist surrounding her like a cloak, flowing in and out of her eyes, consuming her.

“–when someone got possessed,” Aniko finished, looking up into the eyes of Corbin.


Writing done by PotatoCat. Editing done by SquirrelHat. Cover art illustrated and coloured by SquirrelHat. Art done by HadJo. (Thank you, HadJo!)

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