Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Colonel Popcorn’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band

Chapter 13

River was not liking the life of a monk. Not that she was a monk; that would several steps too far for her. No, she was just bored.

The monks were actually pretty cool. When the party had shown up to the Monastery of Oghma, they were accepted with open arms. They all shared a pleasant room together; it was large and comfortable. There was ample room for everyone to have their own space–which, after the pirate ship, was more than welcome–and it was well-lit with proper beds. The monks were kind, and they trained vigorously, tuning their bodies and minds to perfection (as they described it), but their training was secret, known only to those subjected to it. In other words, River was not allowed to learn how to kick like them. This made her grumpy.

Their life was boringly peaceful now, which is partly why River was so determined to participate in combat class: it was something interesting to do. While River didn’t miss the pirate boat, she did miss the excitement of the place, the sense of adventure.

Currently, River was dozing off in a comfy armchair, slumped over an ancient text. The monks were very strict about their ancient texts, and River knew that if they caught her sleeping on them, she’d be mopping the kitchen floor later. However, this was far from River’s mind, especially considering how she wasn’t currently conscious, because she was instead very frustrated by the group’s lack of progress.

Weeks had since gone by since the party’s first entrance into the Quartzite Kingdom, yet they knew nothing more about the portals–let alone Corbin–or what to do from here. It seemed that the party had reached an anticlimactic dead end. River hated dead ends. Come to think of it, River hated a lot of things.

“Oh, River’s asleep again,” Colonel pointed out to Aniko after glancing over, wondering why she hadn’t complained in awhile.

“Oh, how shocking,” Aniko yawned. “I can’t understand how she can fall asleep at such an exciting time as this!”

Colonel frowned. “I’m sure we’ll eventually find something.”

“You’ve said that for weeks now, Colonel,” Aniko let her head fall onto the table in front of her. Although it hurt, it made a satisfying thunk that Aniko felt enunciated her point nicely.

“Well, where else are we gonna go? At least it’s pleasant here!” Colonel said despairingly.

“Well, I don’t know about you, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not well-suited for the quiet life,” Aniko sighed, head still on the table.

Colonel had noticed, as well as everyone else. Just this morning Aniko had almost gotten them kicked out by breaking eleven plates hung on the wall while trying to throw tomatoes at them. “Target practice!” she had called it.

“I know everyone’s feeling a little cottage fever–“

“FEVER?! Are we gonna get sick?!” Aziminil and Marigold had both just walked back into the room after their adventure to acquire snacks. Marigold was laden down with two trays filled with various foods, all of which made Colonel’s mouth water.

“Aziminil, it’s just a phrase–“

“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIE!” Aziminil wailed.

River startled awake. “Wha? Danger? Where!” River looked up happily at the prospect of adventure.

“No, no, no, no, everything’s totally fine and good and okay and please don’t bring the monks in here they’re already mad at us from this morning and they hate it when we make too much noise!” Colonel whispered nervously.

“I don’t want to die!” Marigold wailed in the same tone as Aziminil.

“You’re not going to die! I was… joking, I guess?”

Aziminil started to laugh. “Silly Colonel! You shouldn’t joke about those things!”

Colonel breathed a sigh of relief after no monks showed up. “I’ve told you guys,” he said eventually, “not to be so loud!”

“Sorry, Colonel, but really,” Aziminil began.

“It was your fault,” Marigold nodded.

“Oh, great,” River sighed, “they’ve started finishing each other’s–“

“SANDWICHES!” Marigold cried out happily.

River glared at her before flinging her shoe off her foot at Marigold’s face.

Marigold ducked and it hit a vase on a bookshelf behind her head.

“GUYS!” Colonel called out again as it crashed to the floor and broke open. It was a tragic sight; all the beautiful delicate pieces scattered around the group’s feet. “We’ll be kicked out for sure now!”

River got up from her chair. “You worry too much,” she said. “What they don’t know won’t bother them.”

“River, what’re you doing?” Colonel eyed her nervously.

“Disposing of the evidence,” River picked up all the pieces, then put them in another vase on another shelf. “Now they’ll never know what happened to their dumb vase!”

“This plaque says that that vase was made by the kingdom’s very first queen! WE’VE DESTROYED AN ARTIFACT.”

“Chill, Colonel! It was just sitting there doing nothing!” Aniko rolled her eyes. “I’m sure no one will even notice it’s gone!”

Nonetheless, Colonel fidgeted all through the dinner the monks provided. River tried to remind him to be nonchalant by kicking him repeatedly under the table, which only made Colonel more nervous.

“Is everything all right?” Clara eventually asked. Clara was one of the monks’ orphans. The monastery accepted orphans that they trained in the monk style of life. It was as much a training center as it was an orphanage. Clara was eighteen, with wavy brown hair swept up in a bun and light brown skin. She seemed to have a bit of an accent, and the a in her name was pronounced like the a in father.

“EVERYTHING’S DANDY!” Colonel cried cheerily.

Clara looked at him strangely before returning to her grilled cheese.

River tactfully made them leave early so they could “go over an interesting text we just found.”

Back in their room, River and Aniko promptly started playing fetch with Aziminil, bored out of their minds. Colonel flipped through some boring texts before even he dozed off.

“Oh my god,” Aniko looked over at him. “He actually fell asleep! He’s bored too!”

“Or just tired,” River shrugged.

“Whatever,” Aniko sighed. “I think we’re all bored out of our skulls and need some exciting adventure.”

“What’s there even to do around here?” River threw her hands up in the air after she completed her eighteenth origami crane.

“Where’d you get the paper for those?” Aniko asked.

“Well,” River said, “I possibly used one of the more boring ancient texts?”

“I didn’t know you knew how to do origami,” Aziminil smiled.

“I only can do like, three things,” River said as she tore another piece of paper out of book titled “Interpretatio Vitae” and started folding it into a ninja star.

“These books are so duuuull!” Aniko fell off her chair melodramatically. “I mean, ‘Bellator pugnat monstrum ad mortem?’ What’s that supposed to mean?”

“The warrior fought the monster to the death,” River said, throwing her completed project at Aziminil, who screeched and ducked. Marigold jumped up behind Aziminil and caught it in her mouth.

“How the heck do you know Latin?” Aniko glared over at her.

River shrugged, “I ain’t telling you.”

“You make it sound like some big secret,” Aniko rolled her eyes.

“I can speak Latin!” Marigold said, taking the ninja star out of her mouth.

“Oh really?” Aniko asked without conviction. “Translate this phrase: Puer deserit, quuaererens cuniculum tacitum.”

“Uh…” Marigold stuck her thumb into her mouth to think. Taking it back out again she said, “Purble desert, quiet errands curriculum tactics!”

Aniko opened her mouth to object to this before realizing that she didn’t know Latin and therefore couldn’t correct her. “That doesn’t sound right,” she eventually added.

“Yeah, well you don’t actually know, do you?” Marigold grinned.

“I do,” River said. “It’s, ‘The boy left, seeking the secret tunnel.'”

“Oh,” Marigold’s face fell.

There was a lull in the conversation. Everyone stared blankly at nothing in particular, listening to Colonel’s light breathing.

“That’s it!” Aniko sat up suddenly, fixing her slouching posture.

River started too. “What? What is it?!”

“Secret tunnels!”

“Huh?”

“We should go looking for secret tunnels! This building’s so old, I bet there are loads of old passages that were covered over!”

River’s face brightened. “I like that idea!”

“And,” Aniko added slyly, “Colonel’s asleep, so he can’t tell us not to do it!”

“AND,” River nodded along with her, “he won’t be awake to have a panic attack when we inevitably ignore him!”

“We’re geniuses!” Aniko smiled.

“Wait, what’re we doing?” Aziminil asked, looking up from the drawing she was decorating the wall with.

“River and I are going to go….” Aniko began.

“Look for something!” River smiled over at Aniko. “You two should stay here with Colonel, though, and keep him company. Y’know, make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.”

Aziminil nodded knowingly. “That rascal!”

“River and I will be back soon!” Aniko smiled, waving as she and River left the room, closing the door softly behind them.

“Ah! Blessed freedom!” Aniko smiled once they were free of Aziminil and Marigold’s annoying comments. “Where should we start?”

“Weeeell,” River cocked her head in concentration. “Let’s try knocking on the walls; if they sound hollow, we’ll know there’s something behind them.”

Aniko’s smile grew. “Good idea! And if the monks ask us what we’re doing?”

“Just tell them we’re going to the bathroom or something. I’m sure it’ll be fiiiine.”

River and Aniko began to walk up and down the halls, banging their fists on the walls. Luckily, the monastery was big enough that they didn’t run into any judgmental monks, but, before long, River began to develop bruises on her hands.

“Ouch,” River said, limply shaking her hand back and forth.

“Yeah, this is starting to hurt,” Aniko cradled her now-purple hand.

“And, we haven’t even found any hollow walls!”

“Yeah, this idea doesn’t seem to be working out so well.”

“You ready to go back?” River raised an eyebrow.

Aniko thought some, then shook her head. “Nah. Still more exciting than being back in that dumb room.”

“Then we keep going!” River smiled.

The two set down a narrow hallway frequently unused. Still banging on the walls with her fist, Aniko asked, “What do you think this hallway is used for?”

River shrugged. “Probably storage or something.”

“Oh, look! There’s a sign!” Aniko pointed to a door at the end of the hall.

River ran up to read it. “Notice from the monks. Please do not proceed down this hallway; it is old and deemed dangerous. The Monastery of Oghma is not liable for any injuries received from anyone making bad decisions by going down this hallway. Thank you for time!”

“It’s practically an invitation!” Aniko grinned, reaching for the handle.

“Wait,” River threw out her hand. “Something about this looks fishy.” River started to peer around the door and its handle. Pulling some tools out of her bag, she started pushing them into the door knob and frame.

“What’re you doing?” Aniko asked, glancing over River’s shoulder.

“There’s a trap on this thing!” River said, still fiddling with the hinges of the door.

“What does the trap do?”

“I think,” River began, “that it would freeze the people in question opening the door and alert someone in the monastery. Clearly, they don’t want anyone going down this hallway.”

“Oooh!” Aniko jumped up and down. “What if we actually find something cool that we’re not supposed to?! Maybe there’ll be skeletons and cash!”

“Really? We’ve been adventuring for years and that’s the best you can come up with?”

“Well, I’m sorry, but cash is fun!”

“I do like skeletons,” River muttered under her breath.

“How’s the door coming? I’m bored and I’m worried Colonel’s gonna find us.”

“Colonel’s probably not even awake, and if he was, how would he know where to look to find us?”

“He would try and find the most dangerous part of the monastery and then probably follow us down this dangerous section.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense, we gotta hurry.”

“Yes, please go faster! Plus, I’m bored,” Aniko rolled her head around on her shoulders.

“Done!” River stood up smiling, then shoved her shoulder into the door, slowly creaking it open.

“Wow, Aniko, you’ll never believe what we found,” River sighed as she peered around the doorframe. “Another hallway.”

“At least it’s kinda creepy,” Aniko said, following after River. The hallway had no pleasant light spells cast upon it, unlike the rest of the monastery’s corridors, and River could only see the part of the hallway that the light from the hallway had fallen upon.

“That’s weird,” Aniko stepped farther through into the hallway and squinted in the darkness. “I can’t see in here! I have darkvision, so I should be able to see!”

Aniko softly closed the door behind them, which plunged them into complete darkness. River startled as her eyes began to try and adjust to the blackness. “Aniko,” River hissed, “why did you do that?! Now we’re blind, and who knows what’s around us?!”

“Don’t worry,” Aniko replied nonchalantly, and a few seconds later a ball of soft, glowing light appeared in Aniko’s hands. “Colonel taught me a light spell,” she smiled. “I’m glad this worked! I wasn’t sure it would!”

River grinned at the light. “Finally! Adventure!”

“What’s the plan now?” Aniko asked, throwing the light up so it floated alongside their heads. “This just seems like some dusty ol’ hallway.”

River turned her head back and forth, running her hand along the rough stone wall. “Wanna walk forward, or keep banging on the walls?”

Aniko thought for a bit. “Both,” she said eventually.

Shrugging, River bumped the wall with the side of her fist, wincing as it made contact with her bruise. Aniko did the same, and the two moved forward, the ball of light following them, matching their steady pace.

River found it strangely surreal not to hear discordant humming behind her from Aziminil and Marigold, but the tunnel’s darkness and muffled silence contrasting with Aniko’s light made the experience oddly peaceful.

Eventually, River came to a dead end. Turning back to Aniko, with heavy disappointment in her voice, she said, “It seems like this really was just a boring old tunnel after all. There’s no more passageway!”

“Whaaaat?! That sucks!” Aniko cried angrily.

“I guess we should go back,” River sighed.

“Ugh,” Aniko slammed her hand on the other side of the wall, to the group’s left. A hollow thunk noise issued from the wall.

Both River and Aniko looked up in surprise and delight. “Were we really both hitting the same side of the wall?” River asked.

“That was stupid of us,” Aniko nodded her head.

“But that’s probably a secret passageway!” River smiled, kneeling down to examine the bricks.

“The question is,” Aniko said, leaning on the wall, “how do we get in?”

A thunk noise issued from where Aniko’s hand had pushed into the wall. “Ooh!” she said, pulling her hand away as the wall began to unfold.

River and Aniko watched in amazement as the bricks slowly shifted away from each other, like a puzzle being deconstructed. The bricks pushed away, forming a hole in the surface in front of them, and the stones stacked up and moved to form two more barriers around where River and Aniko stood, boxing them in save for the way forward.

“Coooool!” Aniko whispered excitedly. “We really found adventure!”

“When I envisioned us actually finding a boarded up area, it was an old storage closet no one uses, so this is incredible!” River cried.

“Let’s go!” Aniko said, rushing forward.

“Wait, Aniko–” River began, but Aniko had already stepped through the newly formed entrance, and she cried out as she slid backward and down a long slope.

The ball of light quickly followed Aniko, leaving River in the dark, her only beacon the fading figure of Aniko twisting and turning down some grimy slide.

River couldn’t see any way to follow Aniko besides sliding down herself, so she sat down and pushed off.

Still blinded, air rushed quickly past River’s face, blowing strands of hair behind her. River could feel the uncomfortable friction of her legs against the dirty stone, and her shoulders slammed into walls every time there was a turn in the passage.

Eventually, River reached the end of the tunnel and slammed into Aniko, who had already stood up. “Ah, light and horizontal floors,” River said dryly as she stood, brushing dirt off her pants.

“Did you have a nice ride, River?” Aniko said, smiling.

Grinning, River punched Aniko’s arm. “Where are we?” she asked, glancing around their new surroundings.

“Uh,” Aniko turned forward. They both seemed to be standing in a small, square room still made of the same old stone as the passage now above them. There was a wide opening before them, enough to house double doors, although there were none. Aniko couldn’t see past the doorframe.

Pushing the ball of light forward, River and Aniko stepped through the entrance. Aniko saw three hallways branching off from from the doorway.

“Uh oh,” River sighed, looking slightly worried.

“What?” Aniko asked, looking down at River.

“This looks a confusing mess of tunnels that will get us very lost,” River said.

“Like a maze?”

“Yeah, like a maze.”

“Uh oh,” Aniko agreed. “How’re we not gonna get lost? Cause we can’t go back, not now.”

“First off I’d like to say that it would probably be smart to go back, but… it’s such a hassle, y’know? Plus, I don’t know if we could get back up the slope so easily! We should just go through the tunnels to see if we can find a way up!”

Aniko nodded her head in agreement.

“Secondly,” River continued, “we could leave a trail! I think I have some bread in my bag we could shred to leave a trail!”

“Really? What’re we, Hansel and Gretel? We should just wing it!” Aniko scoffed.

“Aniko,” River said exasperatedly, “while I admire your extreme determination to avoid reasonable planning and decision making, that’s an incredibly stupid idea.”

Aniko glared at her, “Rude! How could you say that?”

“I said it ’cause I don’t want to die by getting lost down here and ending up like that guy chilling over there,” River said, pointing to a skeleton lying defeatedly down one of the hallways.

“Ooh,” Aniko winced. “I didn’t notice that guy.”

“Well, you got your skeletons,” River shrugged.

“Now we gotta go find the cash!” Aniko grinned.

River pulled out an entire loaf of bread from her bag, while Aniko looked at her in shock. “Where the heck did you get that?” she exclaimed.

“I’ve been stealing random things around the monastery,” River said nonchalantly while she tore a piece off the loaf. “I’ve been really bored.”

“Nice,” Aniko said appreciatively as the pair set off into the tunnels.

Choosing the path farthest to the right, River took note of their strange surroundings. The place was grimy and coated with layers of age-old dust, and there were scattered piles of crumbling and dated books with faded poems, formulas, spells, and who knew what else in them. The occasional dead body littered the floor, but enough time had apparently passed since the last person had died that they were all skeletons. River appreciated this very much, since she hated the smell of decaying corpses.

“UGH,” Aniko threw her hands up after they had been traveling some time now. “Another dead end! Is there anything interesting in this place?!”

“I mean, there’s gotta be! Otherwise, why would this place be hidden underground? Let’s try another path.” River pointed to a new one.

“Fine,” Aniko rolled her eyes.

“Do you think Colonel’s awake yet?” River asked. “Maybe they’ve already started searching for us.”

“Well, if they find this place, all they have to do is follow our fairy-tale trail of bread crumbs and bam! Here we are,” Aniko huffed.

River crossed her arms. “Are you still hung up on the bread trail?”

“Yes! It was a stupid idea!”

“Well, we’re not lost, so I think it was actually a success.”

“Whatever,” Aniko sighed. “But we could still get lost; it didn’t work for Hansel and Gretel, y’know.”

“I do know, Aniko, I’ve heard the story before,” River rolled her eyes.

“Hey,” Aniko suddenly stopped and pointed to the side. “That tunnel goes down farther; maybe it leads to something cooler?”

River shrugged. “Might as well try going down it.”

It was a set of steep stone steps that lead farther deeper into the earth.

“Wow, I wonder how far underground we are?” River wondered, glancing up at the stone ceiling.

“Best not to think about it,” Aniko shivered.

River, who had gone first, came upon a old oak door. Reaching for the handle, she twisted it and stepped inside the room. Suddenly, she stopped short.

“Oh my god,” River said in a panicked whisper.

“What?! What’s in there?” Aniko called from behind her.

“Oh my god!” River shouted.

“Oh my god what?!”

River stepped farther in, letting Aniko into the room. Aniko too shuddered to a halt when she too saw what was in front of them.

“WHAT?!” she cried. “How the heck is this down here?!”


Colonel sat up suddenly, jolting awake. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, and was surprised that he had been. He sat up and fixed his crooked glasses. Yawning, he looked up, expecting to see the rest of his party lolling around exasperatedly as they’d been doing for the past month. Instead, he saw Aziminil and Marigold doing what looked like a bad rendition of yoga. There was no River or Aziminil.

Colonel had a bad feeling about this.

“What’re you guys doing?” he asked, standing up and stretching.

“Exercise club!” Aziminil called happily from her position laying on the floor with her legs up in the air, trying to touch her toes.

“Oookay,” Colonel said, glancing over at Marigold–who was trying to do push-ups but kept falling on her face–and sighing.

“I’m kind of scared to ask, but where are River and Aniko?”

Aziminil screwed her face up in concentration. “Uh? They said there were going to go look for something?”

“What’re they looking for?”

“We don’t know,” Marigold attempted to shrug from her position. “They didn’t say.”

Worry began to build up in Colonel’s stomach. “How long have they been gone?”

“As long as you’ve been asleep!” Marigold smiled.

“So probably like thirty minutes?” Aziminil suggested.

“Oh no,” Colonel began to fidget. “This is bad!”

“Really?” Aziminil said, concerned. “Why?”

“They’ve almost certainly gotten themselves into some trouble! We have to find them before they get themselves killed, or before the monks catch them!”

“Yay!” Marigold sat up. “It’s an adventure!”

Aziminil clapped excitedly. “I love adventures! Colonel, do you love adventures?”

“Sure?”

“Yay! OH! I just had a brilliant idea!”

Marigold looked at her, “What is it?”

“We should become adventurers!”

“Wow!” Marigold looked at her admiringly. “That’s a great idea! Colonel, we should do that!”

“Guys,” Colonel sighed, “we already do that.”

“Hahaha!” Aziminil laughed. “Silly Colonel! Always telling jokes!”

Marigold and Aziminil both started laughing. Colonel massaged his forehead.

“Okay, hahaha,” Colonel tried, halfheartedly. “We gotta go now, guys!”

Aziminil and Marigold both stood up and followed Colonel out of the room. The passageways were dark, but the enchanted lights flickered on to a dim setting when the group walked through the halls. Night had fallen outside, so the lights in the monastery were set to a lower level of brightness.

The halls were deserted, but Colonel’s heart still beat quickly as he worried about running into another monk.

“Okay, guys,” he said in a whisper, “we gotta be really quiet so–“

“Oh, hey, Colonel!”

Colonel Popcorn startled as he turned to see Clara standing in front of him, dressed in a large t-shirt and pajama pants. “What’re you guys doing up so late?”

“Us? Doing? Nothing! Nothing suspicious! EVERYTHING’S DANDY!”

Clara gave him a concerned look. “You said that at dinner, yeah. Are you getting a drink of water or something?”

“We’re trying to find our runaway friends!” Marigold burst out, much to Colonel’s dismay. “They seem to both always run off and get themselves into trouble since they both probably have anger issues, so we’re trying to help them deal with their pain by understanding where their anger comes from. We’re therapists.”

Aziminil nodded knowingly. Colonel put his head in his hands. “No, we’re not,” he moaned. “And that’s not what we’re doing.”

“Yeah,” Aziminil said. “Although Marigold was partly right. They just ran away and will probably burn the monastery down if we don’t stop them.”

“Why,” Colonel moaned, “do I surround myself with people who have no self-control?”

“Wait, burn? Should I be concerned?” Clara said, looking a little frightened.

“No!” Colonel hurriedly cried. “Our friends are just a little chaotic, and they seem to have been gone for awhile? Is there anything here at the monastery that’s very dangerous?”

Clara narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”

Colonel sighed. “Because that’s where they probably are.”

Clara shrugged. “I wish I could help you, but I’m just a low-level monk, so they kinda don’t tell me much.” She brightened suddenly. “But I’ll try to help anyway! You guys seem cool, and I can help guide you!”

Colonel tried to exchange looks with Marigold and Aziminil, but both were not paying attention to what was going on. “Sure!” he said. “It would be nice to have some sane company.”

“Great!” Clara smiled. “Where are we going first?”

Colonel shrugged. “You know this place better than I do. Where’s somewhere dangerous or somewhere you could cause a lot of trouble?”

“Well,” Clara thought a second before replying. “This is a pretty safe place, but, I mean, if you were wanting to cause trouble the monks are very particular about the Restricted Wing, the section of the library where they keep all the really powerful or cursed magic books. ‘Cause it has a lot of dangerous spells and stuff and things about cults. Y’know, stuff they don’t want the little kids getting into. Don’t want one of them to accidentally cause an apocalypse!” Clara laughed.

Colonel looked horrified. “The thought that a small army of children could unknowingly cause a worldwide apocalypse just by sneaking into the restricted section of the library is very frightening. Unfortunately, both restricted sections and apocalypses seem right up both Aniko and River’s ally. We should start there.”

The group quietly walked down the deserted halls, glancing around them to try and spot their missing friends. When they reached the library, Clara lead them through the stacks to an old wooden door with elaborate carvings and hinges.

“This is the entrance to the Restricted Wing.” Clara nodded toward the door.

Aziminil tried the handle, but it was locked. “Do you have a key?” she asked, turning toward Clara.

“Sadly,” Clara sighed dramatically, “only the certified higher-level monks are allowed keys.”

Colonel’s shoulders slumped. “Unless,” Clara smiled, “you’re a responsible library worker!” Clara pulled a small, old brass key dangling on a old string out from under her shirt.

“Wow! You work at the library?!” Aziminil smiled.

“Yes,” Clara said with pride. “Out of the many monks here, they’ve given these keys to ten of them, me included! We’re the only people who keep an eye on this section of the library. Y’know, like working the desk, re-shelving books, that sort of thing.”

“And… you always keep the key with you?” Marigold asked, looking a little shocked.

“Yeah, to keep it safe,” Clara said. “Some of the younger kids really want in here.”

“Hm,” Marigold slowly pulled out her crayons and notebook while Colonel sighed. “So it’s like a security blanket….”

Clara gave her a strange look before inserting the key into the hole and twisting it until a small click startled Marigold out of her furious scribbling.

Pushing the door open, Clara lead them silently into an enormous room with a maze of bookshelves. Most of the volumes seemed old and dusty, but a few of them looked new. Aziminil had to resist the urge grab one and flip through it.

“This…” Clara said with a smile and flourish of her hands, “is one of my favorite sections of the library!”

“What do you like about it?” Colonel asked, looking for signs of trouble as he scanned the room.

“Well,” Clara began, “for one thing, every time I walk in here, I feel special because I’m lucky I’m allowed in here in the first place. I also love flipping through these books at work. I’m technically not allowed to check them out since I only work here, but they’re all so interesting! Y’know, the occult is actually a fascinating topic.”

“That’s really cool,” Colonel said, only half paying attention. He was weaving in and out of the shelves, trying to spot a glimpse of River’s shawl or hear the heavy clomping of Aniko’s combat boots.

“What sorts of books do you guys like to read?” Clara asked, hopping up to sit on the edge of a desk.

“Uh, y’know,” Colonel waved his hand about, still only partly paying attention.

“I like picture books!” Aziminil grinned. “Or fairy tales!”

Clara smiled at her. “Have you ever read the Juniper Tree?”

Aziminil tilted her head to the side. “I don’t think so?”

“You should!” Clara beamed.

“I like big psychology books!” Marigold cried, pulling several thick, heavy textbooks from her bag and slamming them in front of Clara, who jumped.

“Wow,” she said, looking down at them. “Do you always carry those around?”

Marigold nodded. “A great weight has just been lifted from my shoulder!”

“Oh my god!” Colonel cried, surprised. “Where did you get those?!”

“I borrowed them from the monastery!” Marigold smiled. “I’ve already read them all! I think they’ll be very helpful for our adventures!”

“You have to return those!” Colonel said.

“Aw,” Marigold said, sliding them over to Clara.

“Sorry,” Clara gave her an apologetic look as she slid them into a pile of books to be reshelved. “I’d let you have them longer if I could make that decision.”

“That’s okay,” Marigold smiled. “I took notes!” She showed Clara a page of scribbles.

Clara nodded her head, looking confused.

“Anyway,” Colonel fidgeted, “we need to find River and Aniko. I don’t see them here.”

“Uh oh,” Clara said. “Let’s try in here,” she pointed, leading them into an adjacent room.

Colonel began darting in between the shelves again, frantically trying to find River or Aniko. “Hello?” he called in the room. “Oh, what if they’re not in here?!”

“Haha!” Aziminil started to laugh. “It’s like hide-and-seek!”

“Really?!” Marigold chirped happily. “Then I just won!”

“What?” Aziminil looked sad. “How? So quickly?”

“Yeah!” Marigold beamed. “That’s probably Aniko over there!”

“What?” Colonel rushed over to them. “Where?!”

Marigold pointed across the room to a hooded figure standing hunched over something in a dark shadow cast by a tall shelf. “She’s over there!”

“What?” Colonel’s face twisted into confusion. “That’s not Aniko or River. Who is that?”

Clara came over to them. “There shouldn’t be anyone in this section so late at night. HEY!” she called. “You shouldn’t be in here!”

The figure across the room started, and before anyone in the party moved, they darted off into the shelves.

“Hey! COME BACK HERE!” Clara ran after the figure. Colonel, Aziminil, and Marigold followed, and they saw the figure pause in front of the door, a patch of moonlight illuminating them.

“They’re not a monk!” Clara said, taken aback. “They’re not in a uniform!”

The figure glanced back at them before quickly yanking open the door that Clara had left unlocked. “And they’re stealing a book!” Clara yelled as they ran off. “We have to follow them and get that book back!”

“Would it really be so bad if they took one book?” Aziminil asked, huffing along behind Clara and Colonel.

“It’s the monastery’s property, and I don’t want to get kicked out for having it taken from the library! Also, it’s from the restricted section, which is restricted for a reason! That book’s probably dangerous!”

“I hadn’t thought of that last bit,” Colonel moaned.

“Where are they even going?” Marigold asked, as her knowledge of where they were in the monastery seeped away with their rapid progression through the halls.

“It seems like they’re going to the abandoned area!” Clara called from ahead.

“The what?!” Colonel cried.

“The section closed off due to safety concerns!”

Colonel moaned again as they crashed through an old door with a bright orange sign next to it, almost certainly describing in great detail the horror the group was heading into. He was met with a sudden darkness when the door slammed shut behind Marigold, and he stuttered to a halt. Aziminil slammed into his back, and he felt the ebbing energy of Marigold ramming into Aziminil behind him.

“Clara?” he whispered, frightened by the darkness. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know,” he heard her whisper back. “Why is this part of the monastery enchanted? This darkness isn’t natural!”

“Maybe they’re trying to hide some terrible secret!” Marigold called excitedly behind them.

“Shh!” Colonel hissed, thinking of the cloaked figure they’d see before. How could they see in this darkness? Clearly, darkvision didn’t work here.

Suddenly, from a long ways off, Colonel saw a dull blue light flicker into existence, and he could just barely see the body of the thief hunker over it, trying to block the light.

“Up there!” he pointed, and Clara started moving forward again.

Colonel was surrounded by a surreal blackness. Only faintly could he make out his own body, and only because of the light cast by the thief’s spell. The party was silent save the huffing of their breaths, filling the stale and empty air around them. Colonel could feel the presence of his comrades, but could barely see them. This was how it was for some time, and Colonel wondered dimly how long it would last.

Eventually, Clara came to sudden halt in front of him, and the chain reaction of everyone behind him occurred as normal. “What’s the matter?” he asked, pushing Aziminil and Marigold’s bodies off his.

“They pushed some weird brick up ahead, and that section of the wall seemed to unfold and block the corridor! It’s become a dead end!”

Colonel realized now that the light from the thief’s spell was gone, and he reached a hand out in front of him to see if what Clara said was true. His palm met stone.

“What’re we gonna do?” Colonel didn’t know why, but he shifted back to a whisper when he suddenly couldn’t see again.

“I guess we go–” Clara began, but was cut off by a low, quiet grinding noise. For a second Colonel couldn’t tell what was going on, until he realized the stone in front of them was reverting back to its old position. Once the stones had reformed into their previous shape, Colonel stepped forward and began pressing at the wall.

“What’re you doing?” Clara asked.

“Trying to activate the same thing the thief did!” Colonel whispered. “I just realized that this is actually very creepy, so Aniko and River are almost certainly down there with this guy now!”

Aziminil and Marigold started to help Colonel, and soon, with a push of Aziminil’s finger, a stone slid into the wall. Colonel watched as the wall around the group unfurled to box them in, leaving an opening in front.

“Oooh! Cool!” Clara clapped her hands. “This is some exciting adventure!”

“Oh my gosh!” Aziminil bounced up and down. “It’s a slide!”

Before Colonel could question what Aziminil meant by this, she was pushing herself off the edge of the new passage, and Colonel watched her quickly speed away, her scarf trailing behind her. Realizing that the tunnel was a downward slope, Colonel watched Marigold and Clara push off too. Not wanting to be left alone after the tunnel resumed its original position, Colonel quickly followed suit.

“AAAAH!” Colonel shrieked, not prepared for the increasing speed he was using to slide into who-knew-what.

He hit the bottom of the slide forcefully and stood unsteadily, looking to see everyone else in his group already chasing after the thief down another passage.

“Wait up!” he cried, following after Aziminil’s fading figure. He noticed as he ran that they seemed to be in some sort of maze of passages. He couldn’t quite make out the things he was running by due to his speed, but he noticed what looked like crumbling piles of dust and decayed skeletons. Colonel shivered and quickened his pace.

Eventually, he started descending a set of stairs, following Clara, Marigold, and Aziminil, all still chasing the thief. “How long…” Colonel huffed, “…will this… go on?!”

Clara yanked open an old oak door at the end of the tunnel, and darted into a new room. Colonel followed Aziminil and Marigold in, looking at his feet so not to trip down the old, crumbling stairs. Suddenly, he stopped short as he heard Aziminil and Marigold gasp. Looking up quickly, Colonel stepped back in surprise.

Several things at once registered in his brain. To begin with, the thief had stopped, and Colonel could now clearly see a red-covered book clutched in their hands. Next, Colonel saw a surprised-looking Aniko and River, and he thought silently to himself that he knew they would be here in the midst of all the trouble.

Finally, Colonel felt a twist of anxiety in his stomach when he saw a familiar giant structure in front of him. A pair of shining hands, clasping a disk of old stone, towering above him yet again. Another portal.


Written by PotatoCat. Editing and art done by SquirrelHat.

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