Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Colonel Popcorn’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Chapter 15

“Well, well, well!” the voice of Corbin boomed through the room. “I must say! I’m surprised to be back here again so soon! Although, I guess I shouldn’t be; you’re all incompetent enough that you couldn’t even go more than a month before I came back!”

“Yeah, but if we’re so incompetent,” Aniko cried, “how come we beat you?!”

Corbin laughed. “A mere accident! I expect it won’t ever happen again.”

Even though Corbin was inhabiting the body of Clara, his voice sounded nothing like hers. Colonel shivered to be hearing it again so soon.

“Why are you possessing Clara? Can’t you let her go?” Colonel asked, desperation in his voice.

Corbin’s face–or really Clara’s–which had been delighted just moments before, darkened into a scowl.

Actually,” Corbin growled. “I have my own question for my servants!”

The cultists, who had been staring at Corbin in shock for the past few minutes, suddenly looked startled to be included in the conversation.

“Y-Yes, Master?” Lucas stepped forward, his face illuminated by one of the remaining candles that hadn’t been blown out yet.

“While I appreciate the attempt to restore me to your puny dimension,” Corbin said in a dangerously silky voice, “I must say, I’m disappointed in the results!”

“H-How so, Master?” Lucas said with a tremor in his voice.

“I am unable to exist in my own natural form!” Corbin suddenly bellowed. “WHY must I be forced in inhabit this disgusting mortal?!”

Lucas bowed down low, “I’m sorry, my Master. These fools interrupted our ritual before we could complete it.”

“Ah,” Corbin muttered, disgust twisting Clara’s face. “That would explain, the… intrusion.

“What intrusion?” Aniko glanced at Lucas.

“Um, I think that would’ve been me,” River muttered.

“Huh? Explain, fancy man!” Aniko cried.

Corbin groaned. “I really am tired of explaining things to you nitwits. You’re friend over there,” he said, gesturing to River, “saw a glimpse of my own dimension before I was summoned. She must’ve accidentally touched the altar or something, causing there to be a small connection.”

“But I touched it to,” Colonel said, confused. “Wouldn’t I have seen your home too or something?”

“Hm… no, I imagine it was specific to your friend there because of our encounter involving the first portal, which, by the way, I already explained a month ago. Anyway, we have more pressing issues!”

Lucas shrank a bit as Corbin turned quickly on him. “I want to be free of this disgusting creature!

There was a small cough from the other side of them room.

Corbin slowly turned on Sam. “WHAT do you want?!”

“Um, s-sorry to b-bug you, uh, siiiir? I’m a little confused, but I think I can help with your little problem. I have a buddy who lives in Ferncone, and she’s really good at solving, uh, demon problems? Seriously, we knew each other as kids–“

“How many of this guy’s old friends turned into cultists?!” River muttered.

“–and I’m confident she can help you!”

“Actually,” Lucas nodded, “I think I know who you’re talking about! Yeah, she can help!”

“My good ol’ buddy–“

Lucas’s eyes widened. “NO, Sam, stop!”

“–Gillian LaFarge,” Sam finished, clueless.

Lucas groaned into his hand.

Corbin rolled Clara’s eyes. “Why did they all have to be idiots?” he muttered to himself. “Fine!” he said aloud. “We will proceed to Ferncone, after we take a detour to the local monastery. If I’m not mistaken, there’s another portal there, and maybe I can finally open it long enough to get some competent people from my dimension to help. I’m afraid I’m not at… full power in this disgusting meat sack, but I should be able to keep it open long enough to get some demons over.”

Colonel’s eyes widened. “This is bad!” he whispered to River and Aniko.

“And of course, how could I forget?” Corbin turned toward the party, all of whom shrunk away from him.

“I’m afraid you’ve all become too much a nuisance to me to allow you to keep existing. You almost ruined this ritual, and, now that you’ve heard to much of our plans, I’ll have to kill you.”

WHAT?!” Colonel cried. “No, no, no, really, s-sir, uh, m’am? No, sir. Please I’m s-sure we could try and c-come to an agreement, or s-something–“

“SILENCE.”

Colonel stopped.

“I admire you’re persistence, really, I do,” Corbin said, “but I’ve come to far to lose now. You have no idea what’s at stake here!”

And before Colonel or anyone else could make any more comments, or more to intercept Corbin, he waved Clara’s hand, and a dark shadow washed over them. Colonel could feel his body weaken, till he felt nothing at all.


“Colonel!”

Colonel felt someone shake his shoulders, but his head felt foggy and ached all over.

“Cooooolonel!” the voice sounded very sad, and Colonel groaned and sat up.

“Aziminil?” he asked, looking at the morose bard. “What’s the matter? Wait–I thought we were supposed to be dead?!”

Aziminil sniffed. “I heard that Clara–sorry, Corbin–was gonna try and kill us, so I cast a shield charm over us right before she–ah, he–hit us. The spell was really powerful, though, so it knocked us all out! I woke up and everyone was lying on the ground and I thought you were dead, and I got really sad, and I didn’t want you to be dead, and so I went to wake you up, but you wouldn’t move, so I bugged River, but she didn’t respond, so I bugged Aniko and Marigold, but they didn’t move, so I went back to poking you, and then you did wake up! So I started talking to you and–“

“Okay, okay,” Colonel held up his hand. “Thank you, Aziminil, you can stop.”

“Oh, good, I was running out of breath!” Aziminil smiled.

Aniko began to stir next to Colonel, and she sat up with a moan. “Ow, why am I alive?”

After rousing the rest of their comrades and explaining their situation, Colonel suddenly realized how far behind they were.

“We gotta get moving!” he cried.

Aniko ran toward the door and slammed it open with her shoulder, barreling through and running through the hallway.

“You don’t have to do that!” River called from behind. “Corbin thinks we’re dead, so they didn’t lock the doors or anything!”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense,” Aniko panted after having knocked over another door.

“Oooh!” Aziminil clapped her hands as the party ran along the halls. “If Clara–Corbin–thinks we’re dead, we can surprise them!”

“That is true!” Colonel smiled.

“Yay, I love surprises!” Marigold beamed.

“Yeah, I don’t think Corbin will like this one,” River snickered.

“But, how are we gonna get there in time?” Aziminil panted, chasing after Aniko.

“The fancy-man has a head start!” Marigold nodded.

“Run real fast?” Aniko suggested.

“Which means, hurry up!” River called from the back.

“Wait, guys, guys, guys!” Colonel waved his hands frantically, still in the demonic ritual room.

“What, Colonel?!” Aniko sighed impatiently. “We have to hurry!

“No, I know!” Colonel agreed, “but look!”

“What is it?” Aziminil asked.

“It looks like a trapdoor,” River squinted at a spot in the corner of the room where the paint was peeling off the floor.

“So it’s a wine cellar, whatever, we need to go!” Aniko huffed.

Colonel pulled on the hook at base of the board and, with a puff of dust, a ladder descended into a dark room.

“I’m going down there,” Colonel decided, starting down the ladder.

What? Colonel, come on, Corbin’s getting away!”

“Trust me!” the muffled voice of Colonel called from down the hatch.

Aniko looked angrily at River who shrugged. “I guess we follow him?”

“Ooh! I wanna go down there!” Aziminil clapped happily, following Colonel.

Marigold and River proceeded immediately after Aziminil, and, realizing defeat, Aniko did too.

“It’s just as I thought!” Colonel was exclaiming happily when the party gathered around him. The tunnel they were in seemed to continue farther ahead where it split off into several different directions. The floor and walls were stone, and their voices echoed softly around them in the wide space.

“What? What did you think?” River asked, peering around.

“The tunnels we were in at the monastery!” Colonel turned to face them, a smile on his face. “They’re connected!”

“What?” Aniko muttered after a pause.

“C’mon, let’s get moving, I’ll explain on the way!” Colonel waved them forward.

Flustered, the party continued after him.

“While we were in the tunnels I thought I saw a lot of other passages that seemed to continue on for a long time, and that got me thinking: Before we got caught up in this whole mess,” he gave a slight glare to River and Aniko, “I read an ancient text that talked about a former ancient civilization that lived where Quartzite is now!

“The civilization was prosperous until some strange, unknown event, which caused their sudden downfall. Historians have never been able to figure out what caused such a sudden deterioration of the kingdom.

“However, they left behind old tunnels beneath the city that, theoretically, could come in handy for the kingdom should some danger force citizens to evacuate! I wondered at the time if the tunnels we were in before were the same, and they are! I believe if we go through these, we can reach the monastery, possibly before Corbin.”

“That’s…” River began, “actually really brilliant. Good job, Colonel!”

“Yeah, who thought those old musty texts would actually come in handy!” Aniko said, impressed.

“I mean… me,” Colonel muttered.

“Yay! We can beat him there!” Aziminil squealed.

“And we get to use the cool tunnels!” Marigold clapped.

The group raced down the tunnels, turning at places where signs distinguished north from south.

“The monastery was north east of the Leaky Lip, so if we follow these, I’m hoping we’ll eventually recognize the tunnels we were in before,” Colonel huffed as they turned another corner.

“Let’s… hope,” River agreed.

After several minutes of racing around in the dark, Aniko stopped suddenly.

“Guys!” she called, stopping the rest of them from continuing.

“What?” Aziminil asked, bending over in exhaustion.

“River, doesn’t this guy look familiar?” Aniko asked, pointing to a skeleton that lay slumped over a dusty, crumbling book.

“Ohmygod, Skully?!” River laughed.

“… Who?!” Colonel asked after a slight pause.

“Aniko and I named some of the skeletons we saw while we were wandering around here aimlessly!” River grinned, patting the skeleton on the head.

“Which means,” Aniko nodded, “we’re super close to the monastery!”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Colonel sighed.

“Do you think you’re naming skeletons because it simplifies your fear of the unknown of death to give this poor soul a name, which is so common and customary to the living?” Marigold asked. “And naming it softens the blow when you realize that this man died alone, in the dark, with only a dusty book in his hands when he greeted the Pale Horseman? Instead, it would be pleasing to personify him so as to believe that he was not met with pain at the end, but instead that he simply slipped seamlessly from living to death, that he is still with us in our own small way, that a name now greets him in the dark expanse of death as if to keep him company while the survivors of this cruel world gaze upon his old bones. To name him is to create a denial in your mind that he is like us, breathing and alive with a beating in his chest that keeps him company in the silence; a name is like a comfort blanket, something that will always be with you no matter what is stripped from your body or soul. A name keeps us human, keeps us sane. The thought that he lies here with nothing would be too frightening to confront on your own, with the thought that one day you too will lie discarded like him, bones scattered across the cold stone floor.”

Everyone stared at Marigold, who suddenly looked up at them and smiled.

“Just saying,” she shrugged.

Colonel sniffed. River shivered. Aniko hugged her arms to her chest. Aziminil looked confused.

“We… should probably get going,” Colonel eventually said.

“Yes, let’s,” Aniko agreed quickly, looking quickly at Skully before rushing away.

Colonel began to speak, “Do you guys know where to go from here now that you’ve recognized Sku-”

“Oh my god!” River suddenly stopped.

“What, what is it?” Colonel looked around frantically.

“No, I can’t believe it,” Aniko said in a hushed tone, violently shaking her head.

“What is it?!” Colonel glanced at River who was pointing to something on the floor. Looking down, Colonel saw a small scattered trail of bread crumbs.

“Hahaha!” River laughed. “Some of my trail’s still here!”

“But I thought Sam and Lucas destroyed it!” Aniko pouted.

“They didn’t come this way, so it must’ve been left untouched!” River grinned. “I’m a genius for doing that! Told you it would come in handy!”

Aniko crossed her arms and huffed, “Whatever.”

“Well, now we can follow these crumbs!” Colonel smiled, happily, following the direction the crumbs continued in.

“We’re like Hansel and Gretel!” Aziminil clapped, skipping down after Colonel. “I’m in a fairy tale!”

Marigold gasped. “I wanna be in a fairy tale too!”

“We all are!” Aziminil cried, twirling in a circle.

“You guys are too happy for a group of people who just accidentally caused the release of an ancient evil upon the world,” Aniko glared.

“We did what now?” Aziminil asked.

“Never mind,” Aniko sighed.

The group wandered after River’s trail before eventually climbing their way back up through the exit in the pantry.

“Do not eat anything this time,” Colonel scolded as Aziminil slowly reached for the peanut butter jar.

“Do you think we made it here before Corbin?” River asked quietly, peering around the door frame.

“Considering how the place isn’t crumbling all around us, I would say I think so,” Aniko said, creeping out into the kitchens.

The group crept through the halls, trying not to draw attention. Colonel, despite knowing that Corbin was not here yet, felt like the dark walls were already crawling with his dark energy, closing in around him. He shuddered, but kept walking.

Chunk.

Colonel froze as glass crunched beneath his boot.

“Oh, look it’s that window we broke!” Marigold said happily, pointing toward the jagged remains of the window.

“You mean that you broke,” Aniko huffed.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot we did that,” River sighed. “Y’know, the monks may still be mad about that….”

“Yeah, I’d imagine we’re not so popular around here anymore,” Aniko said guiltily.

Colonel fidgeted, glancing back and forth to see the monks, “Do you… think that’ll be a problem?”

“We destroyed several ancient texts, a old relic, ran around the monastery messing things up, went into a restricted section that had a sign explicitly telling us not to go there, not to mention,” River ticked things off her fingers, “we dragged an innocent ward of the monastery into all of this, who is now missing, then made a mess of their kitchen including obviously avoiding questions and breaking one of their windows unnecessarily. I think it’s safe to assume they’re pretty mad.”

Colonel moaned. “What’re we gonna do?”

“Craft an elaborate lie that makes this all seem like some huge misunderstanding!” River nodded.

“This is a huge misunderstanding!” Colonel cried.

“Yeah, but will they believe that?”

“Not if we lie!”

“The truth is too far fetched!” Aniko shrugged. “I’m with River. Let’s lie!”

“No, no no no no no no!” Colonel shook his head adamantly. “We’re being honest this time! It’ll work out better, I’m sure.”

“Uhhh, if you’re goal is to super freak them out?” Aniko crossed her arms.

“We should tell the truth!” Aziminil clapped. “So the fairy squirrels will deem my soul worthy of their magic!”

“HA!” Colonel pointed at Aziminil. “That’s two against two! Even if her reasons are somewhat… strange.”

“But…” Aniko muttered.

“That leaves…” River sighed.

“Mari!” Aziminil smiled. “What do you think?”

“Umm, I don’t understand what we’re talking about, I was distracted by the butterfly outside,” Marigold said.

“Well, my dear friend Marigold,” River smiled, “would you rather tell the monks everything we just did, the whole long and boring tale, orrrrrr….”

“Ohhh, no,” Colonel sighed.

“Do you wanna make up our own story?” River finished.

“OOH! I wanna make up a story!” Marigold clapped.

“No, that’s not fair! River’s a biased opinion! You phrased it weird!” Colonel frowned.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think Marigold cares, and she’s not gonna change her mind now!” Aniko laughed.

“Ugh, fine!” Colonel huffed. “But we have to come up with a convincing story.”

River shrugged, “I say we just say something innocent and not mention any of the actual truth. Y’know, demons, the end of the world, Clara, when we broke a multitude of rules….”

“Yeah, but we broke a window,” Colonel glared.

“True, true,” River nodded. “Well, I’m sure–hey, ouch, Aniko, what–“

River looked up in alarm, as Aniko’s slammed her elbow into her arm, and she saw the towering monk that had chased them out the window. He was glaring down at them severely.

“Uh oh,” River muttered.

“Don’t worry!” Aniko said confidently. “There’s just one of him! We can take him!”

But, as she said this, two other tall, bulky monks came up behind the first.

“Um…” Colonel squeaked, “I feel like this is where we explain ourselves.”

However, the monks rushed forward, ignoring Colonel, which surprised the group, and pulled them forward.

“You’re coming with us!” one cried, pulling River along by her wrist and dragging Aziminil by her leg along the floor.

“B-But where?!” Colonel called, being manhandled by a tall women who was shoving him along while he stumbled.

“To jail!” they cried.

“J-Jail?!” Colonel cried. “No, no! There’s been some misunderstanding! You can’t take us to jail!”

The monks, however, didn’t seem to listen, and the group found themselves being shoved into an empty closet.

“I guess we underestimated how mad the monks would be with us,” Aniko said, stumbling as she was pushed in.

“They can stay in here till we notify the magistrate to come get them,” one of the monks said, “where they’ll be put on trial for their crimes.”

“What?!” Colonel cried. “Trial? Crimes?”

Colonel stood up abruptly and rushed quickly to the closet door, peering out through a small open window set near the top. A guard stood outside, facing away from them. “Uh, excuse me, sir?” Colonel tapped the glass.

The guard startled at Colonel’s tap and turned around to look through the window.

“What is it?” his voice was muffled as it came through the door.

Colonel started to fidget as he cried, “Uh, sir, you need to get help! There’s a terrible danger coming to the monastery any time now, so you need to let us out to stop it!”

“And maybe tell us why we’re in prison while you’re at it!” Aniko added, peering over Colonel’s shoulder.

The guard crossed his arms. “An ancient evil? Suurrre, like I haven’t heard that one before.” He chuckled.

“No, but I’m serious!

“Yeah, and I’m Calypso Quartzite!” He laughed again.

“At least tell us why we’re in here!” Aniko snarled.

The man frowned. “I’d thought you would know your own crimes. Let’s see…. You destroyed monastery property, were overheard planing to lie, were overheard saying you destroyed ancient texts…”

The group shifted uncomfortably as the guard continued.

“…were overheard saying you destroyed a relic, apparently went into the restricted section, and kidnapped a child of the orphanage.”

WHAT?!” they all cried at once.

“We didn’t kidnap Clara!” Colonel exclaimed, his breath quickening.

“Yeah, she’s our friend!” Aziminil sniffed.

“We didn’t force her to do anything!” River nodded adamantly.

AND we’re trying to save her!” Aniko glared.

AND I like dinos!” Marigold huffed, crossing her arms.

There was a slight pause.

“What does that have to do with anything?” River eventually sighed.

Marigold looked over at her. “Oh,” she shrugged, “I just felt like contributing.”

The guard rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter now!

“But yes, it does!” River threw her hands up. “If you’re so concerned for Clara, you would let us out of here so we can help her!”

“I can’t do that,” the guard shook his head.

Colonel sighed. “I’m really sorry, random guard.”

“Okay, first off, my name’s Gerry, second off, why would–” Gerry stretched and yawned. “Sorry, I mean, why would-” he yawned again. “Why–” his eyes started to flutter, and suddenly he toppled to the ground, snoring slightly.

River peered through the window at his unconscious form. “Sleep spell?”

“Sleep spell,” Colonel nodded.

“How’re we gonna get out of the jail?” Aziminil reached forward to rattle the doorknob.

“I got it!” Aniko smiled as a spectral hand traced it’s way through the window to grab the keys off Gerry’s belt.

“Haha!” Aniko laughed, yanking the keys from the spectral hand. “Here, let me get it.”

Swinging the door open, the group rushed quickly down the halls.

“We’ve gotta get to the entrance, quick!” River panted.

“Go left!” Colonel cried, pointing down the hall.

“Ah, poop!” Marigold cried, slamming right into a monk.

“HEY!” the woman cried. “You’re not supposed to be–“

But Aniko clubbed the her across the head before she was able to finish, knocking her down.

“We’re just incriminating ourselves!” Colonel moaned.

“We have no choice!” Aniko huffed, picking the pace back up.

As the group neared the door, River slammed the it open, and they all tumbled to the ground in the early sun.

Aniko raised her head from the warm pavement and groaned in relief. “We’re miraculously here before them!”

“Ah, thank god,” River sighed.

“Guys…?” Colonel muttered.

“That was a close one!” Aziminil laughed.

“No, guys, look!” Colonel squeaked, pointing down the street. “They’re right there!”

The group raised their heads and looked to see Clara, floating three feet off the ground, still encircled in a swirling blackness, with cultists dressed in bright red robes surrounding her, protecting her. The pavement under her crumbled and twisted as Corbin’s dark energy laid waste to it, leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

The group, slowly standing and stumbling as they looked at the strange progression, backed up toward the door.

“I don’t think we thought this through….” Colonel said shrilly.

“Y’know,” River nodded, “I think Colonel might have a point. They’re definitely more powerful than we are!”

“Guys, we can’t give up!” Aziminil cried. “Or they’ll destroy the monastery! We have to try!

“They’ll just destroy us and the monastery, now!” Aniko cried frantically.

“No, no, no,” River shook her head lightly. “We just have to hold them off until we come up with a better way of stopping them!”

“Yeah!” Marigold nodded. “I mean, this can’t be worse than the vampire and the people- eating plants, right?”

“Umm,” River hummed.

“Y’know,” Aniko sighed, “somehow I think it will be.”

“We just have to stop them from getting to the portal! Corbin can’t release any more of his associates from the other dimension!” Colonel said.

“That’s easier said than done, I mean–” River began.

“Oh no!” Colonel suddenly cried. “They’re turning this way, hide hide hide!”

The group scattered quickly into nearby bushes on either side of the entrance, holding their breathes and hoping Corbin had yet to see them.

As luck would have it, Corbin did not seem to have noticed them, and he floated silently up to the doors, which he surveyed quietly until a long smile spread slowly across Clara’s face. Raising his hand, Corbin blasted the doors apart with a force that shook the ground and the whole monastery.

Marigold flinched as parts of the door blasted around them, and she hunched her arms over her head as the whirlwind of flying wood cut into her skin. She heard her companions gasp around her as they too felt the sting of the shrapnel.

Corbin landed gently on the ground, smiling at the damage inflicted upon the monastery, and he took a step inside the building.

But, just as he stuck out Clara’s leg, Marigold, as quick as she could, darted her arm in front of Corbin.

With a lurch and a cry of alarm, Corbin tipped forward and tumbled gracelessly to the stone floor.

Everyone froze. A sudden silence had fallen as they all looked down at Clara, face down on the cobblestones.

With a sudden, jerking motion, Corbin whipped around and floated in the air, towering above them all. In a booming, hellish voice, he bellowed, “WHO DID THAT.”

The party slowly stood up from their position behind the shrubs, looking shifty.

“Um,” Marigold coughed. “That was me. Sorry! But you’re possessing our buddy, so…”

“YOU,” Corbin growled. “I thought I killed the lot of you!”

Marigold shrugged. “Um… no?” she eventually said.

Anger flared in Clara’s eyes. “Well,” Corbin said, danger simmering in his voice. “We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?”

“Um,” Marigold hummed. “No, please? How ’bout I give you one free therapy session in exchange for our guaranteed survival and the release of Clara! This is a bargain, I promise! You’ll find no better deals or experience anywhere else in the multiverse!” Marigold winked.

Corbin stared at her in quiet disbelief. He chuckled. Clara’s hand raised to his mouth as he started to laugh harder. Soon, the whole group of cultists were laughing along with him while Marigold stood there, now scribbling in her notebook.

“Use humor as a defense mechanism…” she muttered, pulling crayons out of her bag.

Corbin chuckled still as he gazed down upon Marigold. “Imagine! You thinking to bargain with me! Silly girl, you have nothing I want! You’re pitiful lives only exist for my amusement!”

“God complex….” Marigold continued to mutter and write.

“I do not have a god complex!” Corbin glared down at Marigold. “Stop your meaningless writing!”

Marigold didn’t even glance up. “Mild denial concerning condition….”

Corbin threw Clara’s hand up, and the dark mist shot up from the ground and threw Marigold up into the sky. Her crayons scattered across the cobblestones.

“Stop!” Colonel cried rushing to Marigold who was frantically scooping up her crayons.

“You are all pathetic!” Corbin boomed. “You can’t even die correctly! But no worries; I will take pleasure in killing you twice!” And with that, the dark mist shot up again and twisted around Aziminil, choking her.

“Aziminil!” River cried, dashing forward with her rapier. Slashing it down across the stream of mist encircling Aziminil, it dissipated, and Aziminil fell to the ground, coughing.

“NO!” Corbin screamed. “This HORRID body is restricting my powers!”

“Haha!” Aniko laughed. “You’re not so tough after all!”

“I will still kill you all!” Corbin screamed. “CULTISTS. Attack them!”

The robed figures ran forward, pulling swords from their belts. Some of the others hung back, clearly working up toward a spell. Two started jabbing at River, who backed up against the wall of the monastery. “Ahh!” she cried as one slashed a long gash down her arm. River ducked and slide under them, twisting around to slash one in the back.

One cultist lunged toward Aziminil who was still struggling to stand. He slammed into her and knocked her to the ground again. As he raised his sword to swing it down on her neck, she blasted him back with a spell of her own. She stumbled as she stood back on her feet and managed to deflect another cultist’s sword as it came toward her.

Three cast a spell toward Colonel, fire bursting from all their fingers, rushing toward Colonel. He managed a shield spell in time to take most of the damage, but Colonel still cried in pain as fire snaked up one arm. He dropped his rapier, clutching his burned limb.

Another two were dashing toward Marigold, who had finally managed to scoop up all her crayons. She fumbled as she pulled out her arrows and bow, but she wasn’t quick enough. A cultist slammed into her, knocking her head violently to the ground. Marigold managed to roll to the side as a cleaver sliced down where her head had been before.

Aniko slashed a long cut down the cleaver-carrying cultist’s stomach, who cried out in anguish and toppled to the stones. Aniko helped Marigold up as Aziminil came toward them. “What’s the plan?!” she whispered as River pulled up beside them with Colonel right by her, still clutching his burnt arm.

“We need to move the fight into the catacombs!” Colonel said he ducked an arrow sent by one of the cultists. “That way we can destroy the portal before Corbin gets to it!”

“But we might damage the monastery!” River cried.

Colonel glanced at her. “Since when do you care about damaging property?”

“When there are hundreds of people in it!”

Colonel groaned. “I forgot people were still inside there.”

“You’d think they would’ve noticed the huge fight going on outside!” Aniko huffed as she stabbed a cultist who had tried to decapitate River.

“We can’t worry about the monks!” River cried. “If Corbin opens that portal millions will die! We just have to trust the monks will stay out of our way or evacuate the area.”

Colonel nodded. “Let’s hope they evacuate!”

“River,” Colonel turned to her, “you go get Corbin’s attention, then get him to follow you down to the portal. You know the way better than Aziminil, Marigold, or myself.”

River nodded.

Colonel turned to Aniko. “You need to distract the rest of the cultists enough so they don’t see where we go. Marigold, you can help her.”

“Aww, who does Marigold have to help me again–

“Aniko, come one!”

“Ah, fine, fine.”

“Aziminil and I will follow after River so we can box Corbin in. Aniko can lead Marigold down to the portal when you manage to ditch the cultists. Got it?”

The party all nodded. “Great,” Colonel sighed. “Good luck! GO!”

Aniko and River burst forward, running in opposite directions. Aniko and Marigold shot at the cultists and dashed further down the street.

River ran to the door of the monastery. Turning, she hefted her short bow up and shot an arrow at Corbin. Corbin twisted around and glared down at River.

“You are all but an annoyance to me! You DARE to hurt me?! You, small one, will be the first to fall!”

River gulped, then dashed down the hall as fast as she could. Clara rose up above her and Corbin gave chase, black mist twisting the ground below him.

River felt her heart pounding, but tried desperately to get her bearings so she could lead Corbin to the right place and avoid dead ends. As she dashed right and left toward the abandoned corner, she did notice that most of the monks seemed to be missing, which was reassuring.

Slamming into the dark corridor, River skidded to a halt at the secret entrance. Frantically pushing the stone bricks, she could could hear Corbin nearing closer and closer. Finally, as she could see Clara outlining the doorway, River hit the right stone, and the bricks circled in around her, blocking Corbin off.

Pushing herself off the stones and sliding down, she heard Corbin blast apart the wall. Bits of stone rained down around River, who put her hands around her head. Once her feet his the level ground, she burst forward again, just in time to avoid Corbin landing where she’d just been.

“GET BACK HERE!” Corbin cried.

“Like I’m gonna listen to that!” River scoffed. “Absolutely not!”

Corbin let out a high pitched scream, and the walls of the maze began to tumble down around River. Stones battered her, and River was knocked sideways. Stumbling, she managed to right herself, but the cavern was getting more chaotic and dangerous. With the walls gone, River would have less to rely on to get to the portal.

River ran faster, trying to avoid getting hit by the raining projectiles. She tripped, and skinned her knees, her hands burning as they scraped against the floor. A stone flew forward and River rolled just out of its way.

But the passage was still getting blown apart, and River was knocked violently to the side as a heavy stone flew and hit her head.

Dazed, River struggled to stand, but another stone hit her back, toppling her over again. She groaned, and turned over to look above her. There was Corbin, towering above her, Clara’s hair spread like a web around his black eyes.

“Well, well,” he said, malice in Clara’s sweet voice, “looks like it’s the end of the line for you.”

“I thought I was just an inconvenience?” River huffed. “Why spend so much trouble killing me?”

“I’m not leaving anything to chance,” Corbin growled. “As weak as you are, you’re all ignorant and still have potential to cause havoc. You don’t know what I’m putting on the line here, and you never will!”

Dark mist built up all around River, surrounding her in a darkness.

“I wouldn’t be so cocky!” River glared. Her fist closed around a stone next to her side, and, as hard as she could, River slammed the brick into the side of Clara’s head.

Another scream ripped through the air as Corbin sunk to the side, blood dripping down Clara’s head and ear.

“I’m so sorry, Clara,” River choked, stumbling to her feet again and dashing away while Corbin wiped away Clara’s blood.

“Thank God, the staircase!” River huffed, running down so quickly she almost tripped. Bursting into the room, River saw the portal, still standing tall and untouched before her.

She felt a split second of relief before something dark twisted around her neck and began to choke her. River was thrown up above the ground as Corbin stood behind her, choking her. Clara’s fingers were bent and slowly crushing in, with River’s wind pipe breaking beneath the mist.

I’m DONE playing games!” Corbin’s scream rent the air as River’s rapier clattered to the ground, out of her reach.

River twisted around, hands pulling at the mist, trying to pry herself free. Her legs kicked, attempting to find purchase on something. But it was useless; she was suspended high above the ground, with nothing to grab hold of to help her. Her limbs began to feel weak as the life was slowly choked out of her. Her eyes clouded over with dark spots, and thoughts stopped connecting in her mind as she failed to breathe in.

“You will be the first of your pitiful friends to die!” Corbin laughed.

When Colonel and Aziminil finally barreled into the room, having had to delicately pick their way through the piles of rubble left behind by Corbin’s anger, they saw Corbin standing there, fist held high. The dark mist he controlled was twisting up from the ground in a long, high arc to strangle River, who was struggling but going limp. Her fists were weakly battering the mist, but Colonel and Aziminil watched them fall to her side as she lost strength.

Aziminil, quick as she could, scooped up a brick from the broken wall right outside the room and clubbed it across the back or Clara’s head. “Sorry!” she squeaked, hands at her mouth, as she watched Clara fall to the ground. “Poor Clara!”

Suddenly, the mist around her dissipated, and River fell limply to the floor, coughing and shaking but breathing again. Colonel and Aziminil ran to her side, glancing behind them to make sure Corbin was still dazed and on the ground.

“River, are you okay?” Colonel stood next her, helping her to her feet.

River, coughing, said, “What took you guys so long?!”

Aziminil threw her arms around River, choking her again in a tight hug.

“Not the time, Aziminil!” River cried, struggling to breath through Aziminil’s tight embrace.

“Oh, sorry, Kiwi Rivi!”

“Maybe next time you guys could hur–uh oh, DUCK!” River pulled Aziminil’s head down by her scarf as Corbin, who had been knocked to the side by Colonel and Aziminil, shot a bolt of dark energy right where the group was standing.

“Ah!” he cried happily as he stood before them. “You’ve brought me to my next target!” Clara’s hand gestured to the portal. “This certainly makes my job easier!”

“We’ve gotta destroy the portal,” Aziminil whispered, “but how do we do that?!”

“We could break the lever off?” River shrugged, shooting an arrow toward Corbin.

“That might not work!” Colonel’s brow creased.

“I don’t like your whispering!” Corbin growled, and a blast of energy sent the three of them scattering.

Colonel shot a thunderwave toward Corbin, who was blasted back by the energy and tumbled against the wall.

River slashed a line down Clara’s arm, and bright red blood bubbled up around the wound.

“Ha!” River laughed. “You’re stuck in meaty mortal body like the rest of us! No more insubstantial tricks! You could die right here!”

Clara’s nose wrinkled up, and Colonel could tell that Corbin realized this was true. “And yet!” he called. “You would kill your friend along with me! Poor Clara, pushed to the back of my consciousness, scared, lost, and alone! Every time you hurt me, each spell that hits this body, you hurt her too! She can feel the pain, sharp and clear in the muddled darkness of this mind!”

Corbin’s words struck the group. Colonel realized, suddenly, that everything he said was true. Having been possessed himself, he recalled the feeling of being pushed away in the darkness, yet feeling each stab of pain. Weak and confused, you couldn’t puzzle out where you were or how to leave. Colonel saw the same thought as dawn on Aziminil and River.

Colonel hardened his face and glanced toward Corbin. “Clara wouldn’t want that existence! Nor would she want the whole world torn apart and destroyed, even if it meant her own destruction!”

Colonel wasn’t quite sure if everything he said was entirely true, having only known Clara a short amount of time, but he knew that their priority was to destroy the portal. If they were lucky, they could find a way to free Clara later.

“But that still doesn’t make killing me any easier, does it?” Corbin smiled.

A huge fireball blasted Corbin’s back, and Clara’s body went flying across the room. Aniko and Marigold stood in the doorway. “Like we’re stupid enough to let that stop us!” Aniko huffed.

“Oh, how exciting,” Corbin rolled Clara’s eyes, sarcasm lining his voice. “The whole gang’s together! You’re all insufferable, have I told you that enough times?”

Corbin shot a hand toward Aniko and Marigold, who both flinched, their hands shielding their faces. For a second, it seemed like nothing happened, and the two glanced at each other. But then, the floor rumbled, the cobblestones shifting like something was shaking beneath them. It raced forward, and in a split second, the ground beneath their feet was shaking, causing them to stumble, and the dark mist erupted from the stones, encasing the both of them.

Aniko’s mist was dissolved as fire burnt around her, a spell of her casting. River sliced Marigold free before she started to suffocate.

Aziminil had pulled out her kazoo and was blasting irritating nosies at Corbin, which was quite literally hurting him.

Colonel Popcorn, was standing by the portal, frantically casting different spells at it in the hopes that it would blast apart or break somehow. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be working.

Corbin turned Clara’s head and her eyes fell upon Colonel, who, at this point, was just kicking it angrily.

“Oh!” Corbin’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Now that’s a bit cleverer than I would’ve expected for the lot of you! Destroying the portal instead of me, now that’s a strategy!”

Colonel stopped kicking the stone and turned instead to look guiltily at Corbin, who still had Clara’s eyes focused on him.

“Um, t-thank you…? I guess?”

“Still, though,” Corbin’s smile turned to a glare, “I can’t let you do that.” The dark mist shot up again and threw Colonel against the wall.

Landing next to where River and Aniko stood, Colonel sighed. “This isn’t going well,” he said, as his friends helped him back to his feet. “Nothing I do will destroy the portal!”

“Hmmm,’ River titled her head. “Well if we can’t destroy it, who will? We need to find a way!”

There was a brief moment of silence before Aniko gasped and smacked her forehead. “That’s it!” she cried. “River, you’re a genius!’

“What?” River looked bewildered. “What did I say?”

“It’s not how, it’s who!” and Aniko dashed off toward Corbin and the portal.

“That didn’t clear anything up!” River called toward her back.

Aniko, however, wasn’t listening anymore. She ran toward the portal and stood right in front of it. Corbin, who was tormenting Aziminil and Marigold by throwing them back and forth using the mist, turned angrily toward Aniko when she shot a fireball at him.

“That’s getting more annoying now that you disgusting meat-sacks can actually catch fire!” Corbin boomed, patting the fire out with Clara’s hands. “Let’s put that spell out of commission, why don’t we?”

A huge tower of darkness rose up from the ground and barreled right toward Aniko, the ground rumbling and sinking beneath it, vibrating with the the structure’s immense energy. Aniko, however, just stood there, eyes trained carefully on the tower rushing at her.

“Neko, be careful!” Marigold cried from her spot on the floor.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Aniko yelled before the mist hit the portal’s base. Aniko dived out the way just in time as the mist blew the portal into bits. Corbin’s scream rent the air as stones from the device scattered around them. Aniko skidded to the side, and saw the pieces fly over her head. She heard some of her companions cry out, whether from pain or surprise, she didn’t know. As the last parts fell to the ground, and the dust drifted down slowly around them, Aniko saw more clearly the scene in front of her.

Marigold and Aziminil were hugging each other, their heads buried in each others’ shoulders. Stones lay around them and few were on top of them, bruises decorating their skin. Colonel and River were on the other side of the room. River had her hands over her heads with stones littered around her, crushing part of her legs. Colonel was mostly covered by rocks, but she saw the pile stirring, which reassured Aniko he wasn’t dead.

Corbin, on the other hand, was standing there, staring at the decrepit pile that had once been the portal. A strange look possessed Clara’s face. Aniko had trouble puzzling out what it was. It didn’t seem like anger, which was what Aniko expected. Instead it seemed more like panic, or even… sadness. A defeated sort of sadness that leads to the feeling of panic. Clara’s hand raised slowly to her mouth, but when Corbin saw Aniko’s gaze on him, his hand dropped quickly and his expression twisted back to anger.

“How… DARE YOU–” but before he could continue there was a rumbling noise. Aniko looked hurriedly up and saw stones from the ceiling falling down.

“The monastery!” River cried, looking at the ceiling. “It’s falling apart!”

The stones around them began to fall quicker as the cavern caved in. Corbin glared at them all. “This isn’t over!” he called, and with that, he fled from the room, floating off the ground, with an unnatural speed.

“GUYS!” Aniko called. “We have to get out of here!”

Colonel had shoved some of the bricks off himself, but he was still struggling to get up. “I’m stuck!” he called. River pulled her legs out from under the rocks, then started pushing rocks off Colonel Popcorn. Aniko rushed over to help, and they managed to pull Colonel out of the rocks. River cried out in pain as rubble hit her shoulder, and, with Aziminil and Marigold now next to them, the group fled the room. Dodging the debris, they jumped over the mess left behind by Corbin.

“We have to get to the stairs, quick!” Colonel cried, gesturing toward the opening that led to the pantry.

“Maybe there will–” Aziminil began, but she tripped when a stone fell on her back. River and Aniko managed to catch her before she hit the ground, and she stumbled as she kept running.

Finally reaching the stairs, the group dashed up as quickly as they could. Shoving the door open violently, they tumbled into the monastery. Night was falling, and the corridors were dark as they struggled to find an exit. Stones still rained down them around them.

“I think we did more damage to the building than we originally realized!” Colonel panted.

“You think?!” Aniko huffed. “Now go faster!”

Finally finding the exit, the group crumpled, exhausted, on the cobblestones. Seconds later, the monastery’s door collapsed as the ceiling caved in.

The party sat in silence, save their panting and heavy breathing, and gazed at the extensive damage they’d done. A whole section of the monastery was rubble. The whole building hadn’t collapsed, luckily, but an entire section had been reduced to ruins. Corbin and his cultists were nowhere in sight.

“I… think we’d better leave,” River sighed. “Before the monks come back.”

“How’d you know that would work, Aniko? Getting Corbin to destroy the portal?” Colonel asked.

Aniko shrugged. “I figured his spells would be more powerful than ours and would do the trick. I don’t know, maybe Corbin has a connection to the portal we haven’t realized yet?”

“Hm, maybe,” River muttered. “Clever idea, though. Good job.”

Aniko smiled proudly. “Why thank you!”

The group slowly stood. Battered and bruised, they limped down the stone road.

“We should probably head to Ferncone as soon as we can,” Colonel said, “since that’s where Corbin will be headed. But first, we should find somewhere to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

“Maybe a local inn?” Aniko suggested.

“Yeah, we probably have enough money,” Colonel shrugged. “It’d be nice to have proper beds.”

The group continued to chat, debating which inn to stay at, when Aziminil slowed to a stop. At first, the others didn’t notice, but eventually Marigold turned and asked, “Aziminil, what’re you doing?”

Aziminil turned to them, smiling. “Guys look! It’s us!” She was pointing to the side of building.

“What?” River sighed, tired. “That’s ridiculous!” She made her way other. “Why would our faces be on… the…” She stopped and stared at the wall.

“What?” Colonel asked.

River turned to them with a worried look. “Um, you guys might wanna look at this.”

Gathering around the wall, the party gazed at the poster plastered on the brick.

There was a picture of all them, standing together and looking violent. Beneath, it read “Wanted for crimes against the Quartzite Kingdom, including breaking and entering, destruction of monastery property, and kidnapping. Armed and dangerous.”

“Oh no…” Colonel muttered.

“Guess we’re not going to an inn, then,” River said weakly.

“But…” Marigold shook her head, “where do we go now?”

River shrugged, “We have to keep going to Ferncone. We need to find Gillian and stop Corbin before it’s too late.

“Before everything we know is destroyed,” Colonel sighed.


Written by PotatoCat. Edited by SquirrelHat. Cover art illustrated and colored by SquirrelHat. Art done by Squash. (Thank you, Squash!)

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